Clash of the Yankee Titans -- A Fantasy, Or . . . ?
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by Lenora X
Brian "The Crusher" Cashman delivered the first blow, sending Camp Torre reeling by shipping Scott "The Crutch" Proctor to the Dodgers. That this move shipped out an ineffective relief pitcher and strengthened the woefully short bench didn't matter. Cashman had crossed a line. It was on, now.
Torre lived up to his nickname, "The Quiet Killer." His plan was subtle and silent, but before long the terrifying outlines of it were clear: They took away Proctor? He would use Meyers every damn game. Second inning, 8-0? Sixth inning "crucial match up?" It didn't matter. Meyers was going to pitch and pitch and pitch. Someone was going to pay for them taking Scotty away. Everyone was going to pay.
But The Crusher had hardly run out of moves. The path was clear: Meyers had to go. Unable to get anything for him, Crusher Cashman DFAed Meyers. Chamberlain was brought up.
The shock waves ripped through the Torre Bunker like an earthquake. Those few who have ever seen the rare but horrible Rage of the Quiet Killer said that they had never seen anything like this outburst.
And the result was simple and devastating. Farnsworth. Kyle the Undead. F-Word. "Farnsy." He would be the only relief pitcher aside from Mariano that The Quiet Killer would use. Bruney and even Joe's Guy Deluxe Ron Villone withered and rotted in the pen. Chamerberlain never pitched an inning.
The losses mounted but it didn't matter. It was war, now, Crusher knew what he had to do. Farnsworth was traded to Cinncinnati for a Ken Griffey. Not for Ken Griffey, but for a Ken Griffey model bat. Villone was sent down, as was Bruney. Britton came up, along with Edwar Ramirez.
It seemed as though The Crusher had won. But The Quiet Killer hadn't survived in this city, working for the Cold Raging Furnace for all these years, by not being clever. He would never lay down for Cashman.
The losing days of September wore on . . . the bats stayed hot but it wasn't enough. And The Quiet Killer unleashed his final, terrible vengeance upon the land.
Every starter pitched eight innings, every game. There would be no relief unless you got to the ninth with a lead, and when Mariano would come in. Clemens threw 172 pitches and gave up 11 earned runs. Andy Pettite's elbow blew up like a balloon after throwing 155 pitches in a complete game 12-10 loss. Guidry's clicker lieterally borke from oversue trying to count Mussina's pitches in a an eight-inning, 14-run stint. Philip Hughes exceeded his pitch count for 2007 and 2008, averaging 163 pitches per start and going 0-6, 9.19 down the stretch.
It didn't matter. None of it mattered.
When it was done, The Quiet Killer surveyed the smoldering scorched earth of the once green fields. A smile slowly spread over his face.
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January 11, 2008 (AP) The New York Yankees today announced that manager Joe Torre had agreed to a 5-year contract extension as manager and will add the title of GM to his duties. Terms were not disclosed but it is believed that the deal will pay Torre around $11 million per season. When asked about his off-season priorities, Torre responded: "Re-acquiring Proctor and Farnsworth I think is number one -- getting our bullpen back on track. I think we have enough chips to trade to get those guys back."
