Briggs Makes a $600,000 Slinky
| 18
|
by Dominator528
Chicago Bears' linebacker Lance Briggs decided to wrap his Lamborghini around a pole early Monday morning. The reports surfacing around this area was that the car retailed at $350,000 and this particular unit carried a price tag of about $600,000 with all the extras. The car was scheduled for a #55 and Briggs' picture to be air brushed on it.
The story could have been worse judging by the crash pictures; but the quotes were top notch:
Lovie Smith said, "spirits were good for being in a one-car accident" [I wonder if "spirits" were not too good in that one-car accident?]
Adewale Ogunleye said, "He said that he crashed the car or something and I had to get to meetings, so I didn't have a chance to talk to him" [Now that is a classic story of "you must feed the animal" (A Public Relations quote about the media - because if you don't give them something to write (or someone to talk to) then they will make s**t to write (or find ANYONE to talk to)]
The AP Story added this in it's story about a single car crash in Chicago invilving a Bears player and no where near Atlanta and no way even remotely involvin dogs: "News of the crash came on the same day Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick pleaded guilty to a dogfighting charge..." [Oh like we didn't see that one coming - can't have a story without putting in you MVP (Michael Vick Plug),]
Lastly the king of Duh goes to the Illinois State Trooper that made sure he geerated some extra paper (since an arrest report was not enough) and he cited Briggs with "improper lane change". [What feat of great investigative work went into establishing that probable cause? The light pole in the middle of the dash board?"
All in all Briggs walked away injury free and we are all so greatfull his 7.2 Million a year is being spent wisely
