Breaking News: Michael Jordan is attempting another comeback!
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by LastRow
It seems M.J. is doing this because ex-wife Juanita just took him to the cleaners in their divorce settlement . It was only to the tune of 168 million…Not a big deal really! It’s not like that settlement eclipses the most expensive celebrity divorce on public record, in which Neil Diamond paid his ex-wife Marcia Murphey £75m. And Michael Stranhan thought he had issues with his ex ball-n-chain!
So does this mean Juanita just won her own version of Powerball? The final severance package, includes the couple's seven-acre estate in Chicago and custody of their three children, is expected to be agreed before the first anniversary of their last row, (pun intended) which was said to be about money. And given her real estate background something tells me the seven-acre crib will be on the market before you can say Virgicalimenta Flagantonio. Of course given that this is a buyers market right now and looks, well, it looks like Kobe Bryant will get a steal then, now doesn’t it! Not only will he play in Mike’s house, but he will also sleep in Mike’s house! I’m just hoping he’s not obsessed so much that he wants to sleep in the same bed where M.J. slept! Although, one never knows…Kobe has a thing of sleeping in other peoples bed! OUCH!
God damn…That’s a lot of F******** money to make a bitch go away! Yowsa! Although I will say that Double JJ had to put up with one the most egotistical cats ever to walk the face of the earth in his Airness. Now I don’t side with women, for I’m a guy….Well, last time I checked I was, but as off the wall as this might sound, I echo what Neil Diamond said after paying out of his ass… "She's worth every penny," he said. And I agree Ms. Former Jordan is too…Wonder if she’ll keep the last name? Have to admit…It’s pretty catchy!
You know what this means don’t you? Tiger Woods, you’re next! Right after Alex Rodriguez…because as the story goes, the beginning of the end for the Jordans was when M.J. got caught sneaking around the OLE chicken coupe, (house/bedroom/the five star "No Tell Hotel") with an "Adult Entertainer", (no word on whether she was blonde or not)!
I think I’m going to play Lotto tonight…The God damn state of Florida doesn’t believe in Powerball! Oh, and M.J., you better sell all the Hanes known to man! Although, you may want to chance your briefs you currently are sporting…I think you just shitted yourself after Juanita just did a deep cavity search on your ass! ZING!
