Big Green Machine: Neifi's Drive for Four Starts Now

by Editoratlegendofcecilioguante

This was originally posted on my blog, The Legend of Cecilio Guante, here.

I ain't betting against him. That's right do NOT sleep on Neifi Perez. I'm confident he's going for the grand slam. Triples are for losers. We're talking Steve Howe territory, here. Ok, maybe that legendary a status is a lofty goal, but four strikes seems altogether reachable. Let's consider the perserverance, here. I mean Neifi was going through similar hard times less than a month ago. Did that hold him down? Hell, no. He's like Chumbawamba. Guy gets knocked down and keeps getting up again. It's inspiring. I mean, I couldn't agree with these guys more. There's only one issue. What's the good of determination if it's not being focused towards positive goals? We need to be realistic, Neifi, this stuff isn't working. Not where you're trying so hard to improve. You need to try harder...and smarter. Let's think logically about this. You have great resources at your disposal. Ask your teammates. Ask your trainer. Heck, ask Leyland. He's been around awhile. Inquire with others around the league who've faced similar challenges and overcome them. They know what's up. Your colleagues can be sources of inspiration. They can help you think outside your little green metaphorical box. Just think of it as a session with your doctor. This is your annual physical. Be up-front. Share everything that is ailing you. Be descriptive. And then the doctor will prescribe what's best for that which is ailing you. Still confused? Here's a sample interview to guide you along.

"Doctor": How are you doing today Mr. Perez?

Neifi: Fine, very fine. Super-fine. Things are great. Really great. Lot of energy. Cool office, man. Like the lights...(fades off mumbling)

Doc: You seem rather energetic for an early Monday morning following a Sunday night ESPN game.

Neifi: Si. Not tired. Excited. Need help with bat.

Doc: I'm sorry, can you explain the problem again? Help with bat?

Neifi: Glove is really good. Always. Can't hit. In field, still OK. At plate, like Cerrano says, bats are afraid. See? (Neifi points to piece of paper with this written on it).

Doc: Ah, yes. Have you considered spending more time in the cage? Working a bit with your hitting coach, perhaps?

Neifi: I'm 34. Can't learn anything more. Need help. Thought anfetamina was the answer. No help.

Doc: Anfetamina?

Neifi: Si, verde. Verde! Verde!

Doc: Stop yelling, Mr. Perez. Green? Oh, yes... greenies.

Neifi: Si.

Doc: Alright, Mr. Perez I hate to prescribe this to patients, but you are so desperately in need...

Neifi: Por favor.

Doc: Crema y claro.

Neifi: Si. Crema y claro? Help with bat?

Doc: Yes, Mr. Perez. It will help with your bat. Best of luck to you.

Neifi: [Kissing doctor]. Gracias! Gracias! Muchos gracias! Verte en 80 juegos, béisbol! No puedes dormir en Neifi!