Best Homebrewed Bermanisms
| 14
|
by user Manny Stiles
No matter if you love Chris "Pleather" Berman, want to defecate on his rotting corpse or are apathetic towards him, you gotta admit that at least ONCE you made your own Homebrewed Bermanism!
It's inevitable and addictive! From the day the Phillies traded 174 players for Von "derful" Hayes, the nickname manipulation flowed freely. Some are good (Pete "Corn" Rose), some suck (New York Spankees) or lack creativity (Mike "Holy" Schmidt).
My wife (whose nickname is Alice Iverson - for her basketball skills) changed Byun-Hyung Kim's name to "Yum-yum" Kim (she says it while imitating his windup). Some athletes in my household are known only by their nickname... "He's from the Valley" is Mike Bibby's name, because he's from our area, Phoenix metro area a.k.a. "the Valley of the Sun".
As a tribute to the daily Dan Patrick-Reggie Miller lovefest/Patrick Ewing Middle Name haberdashery, I changed Stephen A. Smith's middle name to 'Aloysius'. Feel free to perpetuate that nugget of goodness!
One of my favorite and most referenced Homebrewed Bermanisms pertains to Tony Womack;
- offensive personal note to Tony Womack: Nothing personal Tony, but I never saw you as a Major League baseball player. All you can do is run! You can't hit, you can't field, your arm is less than weak; for all your so-called speed, you are a poor baserunner, it takes you forever to get out of the batter's box and you SUCK at bunting. Even your at-bat music is weak.
During the 2001 season with the D-Backs, Womack was the recipient of more helpful scorebook changes than ANY player ever. I swear it was every game! Errors were turned into hits, because his 'speed' beat out the throw. He would always make dumb outs (baserunning, pop-up sacrifice bunts) during crucial times yet Bob Brenly (easily the luckiest man of the year 2001) repeatedly called his name. I think he set a record for most times reaching base on swinging 3rd strikes. It was uncanny. Even during the World Series!
All of 2001, I called you (and still do) Tony Blomack. I feel that it is truth in advertising...
So what are YOUR homebrewed Bermanisms? - there are some great ones out there for sure. they don't ahve to be just players names... team names are fun too (a la Greg Easterbrook's politically correct NFL team names) They don't have to all be demeaning like 'Alexis' Rodriguez or Big Crapi, but if they are funny PLEASE submit it and I will defend you vehemently (or until I get bored)
Add your homebrewed Bermanism and the rest of us will +/- you into oblivion!
Date
Wed 08/16/06, 11:32 am EST
