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Bass Ackwards

28
Vote

by Bryanallain

If you're getting a little bored with watching sports these days, or if you're just looking for a new way to blow your mind, may i make a suggestion? Try watching sports in a mirror. It just may change your life.

I suggest watching baseball if you are going to try this because all the other major sports have symmetrical fields. Baseball's is symmetrical too I guess, but the thing is there's only one correct way to run around the bases. You think it gets old watching runners hustle from home plate to third base after getting a base hit? Well, it doesn't.

As an avid sports fan, i also enjoy seeing some of my favorite athletes doing stuff backwards. Tom Brady as a lefty quarterback? Fascinating. A right handed Johan Santana pitching to a left handed Alex Rodriguez? Enthralling. Watching Jose Reyes steal second base, only it looks like he's running from third to second? Hilarious.

If you're wondering what type of mirror to use for this activity, i suggest using your living room window after dark. As long as you have a clear view of your television, it will work perfectly well. I also have been known to use the reflection in my microwave door, as it has a clear shot at the TV as well.

One time my wife caught me staring into an empty microwave for a few minutes and called her mom to ask if she should get me some professional counseling. Once i explained to her that i wasn't staring into an empty microwave, but that i was actually watching the baseball game backwards because it was "really fun to watch", she followed through with making a therapist appointment for me.

The joke was on her though, because it didn't take too much convincing to get my shrink to start watching basketball in the mirror. To this day I'll still get random voicemails from him saying things like "Did you see Kobe hit the 3-pointer left handed! That was amazing!"

You're welcome, Dr. Sampson.

If you've never tried it, then please don't knock it until you have. Once you've tried it, then you can feel free to knock it. Only, I don't think you will knock it, because it's great fun.

So go ahead, pick up a shiny toaster or use the back of that compact disc and see for yourself. Your life may never be the same again.


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
JuTMSY4Legend
861 days ago
Score 13+-
Ladies and Gentlemen: Marijuana!
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 5+-
Hey, marijuana doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you stupider. Don't blame GOD's favorite flower on this one... Besides, if we're talking mirrors - it's usually more of a cocaine issue, eh?
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 0+-
Nothing beats recording games and watching them in reverse play. It's amazing to watch catchers chuck the ball back to the pitchers 90+ mph WITH THEIR GLOVE!!!! And how did that football jump out of that net and know to land right where the kicker's foot was??? AMAZING!!!
Permalink
RedSox&PatsDivaJV Squad
861 days ago
Score 1+-
Marijuana? Try Acid....but sounds like it would be worth a try
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 0+-
Acid? but that only lasts 10 good hours... 16 if you double up. Eat some datura or peyote and ride the escalator for a couple days. Kids, pfft!
Permalink
RedSox&PatsDivaJV Squad
861 days ago
Score 2+-
Those would be good only if it were during an interleague series between the Devil Rays and the Pirates...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 0+-
That is seriously damned funny, but it's be more like Tampa Bay Rays vs. Arizona Cardinals - not that I haven't played this best of 11 series in my head many times already. Oh yea, the answer is 42 and be with the sun, not the shadow.
Permalink
RedSox&PatsDivaJV Squad
861 days ago
Score 1+-
Touche'
Permalink
BOMBERSDiv-I Stud
861 days ago
Score 3+-
That sounds hilarious.
Permalink | Reply
InsanMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 8+-
Did the shrink pay you money for the session?
Permalink | Reply
BryanallainSoccer Kid
861 days ago
Score 6+-
No, the jerk still charged me full price. And rumor has it that he just purchased an enormous wall mirror and rearranged his sectional so that the TV is behind your head, and you actually watch everything by staring at the huge mirror. I heard this from his wife, who is ticked off because it has completely ruined her Wheel of Fortune viewing experience.
Permalink
InsanMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 2+-
I always heard having sex in a room full of mirrors was the way to go. So I guess the same thing applies for sports. Well you know what they say, "Having sex is almost as pleasing to a man as watching sports."
Permalink | Reply
Brendan.CanneyDiv-I Stud
861 days ago
Score 2+-
Sex is work. Watching sports however is not. There should be no correlation between the two.
Permalink
RedSox&PatsDivaJV Squad
861 days ago
Score 2+-
You're obviously not with the right person then if you think that...
Permalink
Brendan.CanneyDiv-I Stud
861 days ago
Score 1+-
Should I start inserting sarcasm brackets?
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 3+-
"Fishing" is work compared to sex... Only a science geek could call sex "work" and be right in three different ways. And I don't see any letters after your name...
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
861 days ago
Score 1+-
Sex is a multitude of things (and can be)...work isn't one of them... The day sex becomes work for me, is the day i'm checking out...
Permalink
Brendan.CanneyDiv-I Stud
861 days ago
Score 3+-
If sex is work, at least you'd be getting paid for it? Am I right?
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
861 days ago
Score 4+-
there has never been a monetary transaction as a result of me having sex ; - )... well, unless you consider getting her drunk...ehhhhhh
Permalink
Brendan.CanneyDiv-I Stud
861 days ago
Score 1+-
Hiyo!
Permalink
InsanMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 1+-
C'mon Justin, we all know you slip that date rape in her drink.
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
861 days ago
Score 2+-
"If it weren't for date rape, I'd never get laid..." -Bradley Nowell
Permalink
InsanMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 1+-
Classic TV moment: Quagmire slips date rape into the girls drink on the reality show and drags her by her legs back to his house before noticing that it's being filmed and then just leaves her there outside his doorstep.
Permalink
RedSox&PatsDivaJV Squad
861 days ago
Score 0+-
good stuff on a Wednesday!!
Permalink
Brendan.CanneyDiv-I Stud
861 days ago
Score 0+-
Giggidy!
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
861 days ago
Score 2+-
it's better with three, but it's not for beginners. You need lots of honed skill.
Permalink | Reply
Rockymount7Red-Shirting
861 days ago
Score 3+-
I like having sex while watching sports... but the mirror is for the sex.
Permalink | Reply
DaddyMac22JV Squad
860 days ago
Score 0+-
This post had me at the Big Lewbowski shot
Permalink | Reply
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This page was last modified 03:04, 23 August 2007. Content is available under the GFDL.

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