Barry and A-Rod In The Sport of Cheaters
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by Pjtitus
If you saw ESPN's Home Run Contest this year, wasn't San Francisco's AT&T Ballpark beautiful? And, wasn't A-Rod resplendent as he engaged Barry Bonds in an intense conversation, while the cameras whirred? It was poignant as the man who is about to break the all-time HR record chatted with the resurgent A-Rod. We (as a country) are having trouble embracing Bonds because we all know he took steroids. If you are in that camp, stop worrying because A.) Bonds is one of umpteen-gillion cheaters. And, B.) A-Rod will blow so far past Bonds, all the present consternation will have been much ado about nothing.
The MLB doesn't mind cheaters unless those cheaters get caught. The game is full of cheaters. As long as these players keep their deceit on the down-low, baseball is happy to move forward. If you don't think the game is full of cheaters, I'll throw some names out to illustrate my point, using only my favorite team, present or former Texas Rangers.
Randy Velarde Laynce Nix Jason Botts Gabe Kapler Juan Gonzalez Julio Franco Ruben Sierra Sammy Sosa Jose' Canseco
How do I know these guys took yummies, the juice, steroids? I know for the same reason you know not to buy a Rolex watch from a man with an eye-patch on a street corner. I used to work out in the same gym with Former 7-time, Mr. Olympia Ronnie Coleman (a great guy). He never tested positive for steroids. But, I can tell you that his urine positively glows in the dark. So, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are very good that it's a duck.
Remember, there is no test to positively identify HGH. Maybe I'm just a conspiricist wacko.
In the next week or so, A-Rod will be the youngest player ever to get to 500 HR's. He's 32, for crying out loud. If he hit just 30 taters a year for the next 10 years, he'd be around 800, putting him way ahead of the number Bonds will end up with.
My conspiracy theory is this: A-Rod is using some combination of HGH and steroids. I feel this way because his quads look increasingly like tree stumps. Also, prior to 2002, (his first year with the Rangers) he had never hit more than 42 taters. Seemingly amazingly, he exceeded his career best that year by crushing 52!
The three best years (for HR's) were the years he was in Texas. Carl Everett, Juan Gonzalez, Travis Hafner, Gabe Kapler, Pudge Rodriguez, Herbert Perry and Rafael Palmeiro were all on the Rangers' roster in 2002, Rodriguez' first year in Arlington. Is it just a coincidence that A-Rod had his career-best HR year in the first season that he played with this group of unusually large and strong men (and the only 500+ HR hitter ever to test positive for banned performance-enhancing drugs)?
Now, at the age of 32, A-Rod is on pace to have the best year in Yankees history for the long ball. Roger Maris was 26 when he hit 61 in pinstripes. Isn't it odd that A-Rod will pass that number at the ripe old age of 32?
Like Bonds, A-Rod hits harder as he gets older. So, it's a lock that we'll be celebrating the All-Time HR record again fairly soon after Bonds breaks Aaron's number. Finally, A-Rod will join other cheaters: John McGraw, Gaylord Perry and probably Bonds in the Hall of Fame. I hope that it happens at a park as gorgeous as the one in San Francisco. But, they'll always know that they cheated to get there.
Here is Franco now: 
