Backyard BBQ Grilling with Manny Ramirez on eBay
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by user LastRow
With Spring officially arriving yesterday, this is symbolic in many ways. First, foremost and most importantly the first day of spring just happens to be my birthday…I really appreciate all the love that I didn’t get from my peeps out there! I may be in the witness protection program, but it’s safe to send out birthday wishes…GOSH! Although, I’m not bitter. Moving on then…As winter leaves us a spring arrives, the significance of this is felt by sports fans too. Spring marks March Madness beginning in its second of three weeks, the NFL Draft is around the corner…Thank god, I don’t think I can handle too much more of the "Rise and Fall and Then Rise Again of Brady Quinn". Oh yeah, let’s not forget the boys of summer, some know it as Major League Baseball gets started up in a couple weeks…Woo Hoo, 162 games of the Devil Rays and Royals, can’t wait for that!
Although with the boys of summer clearly in the spotlight until September, for us "Boob Tube Watchers" it’s time to get off the couch and tone up our bodies…Summer is the time to show off the six-pack or keg, (whichever applies). Hey, if Phil Mickelson can get rid of his man boobs, (or at least go down in cup size) so can everybody! And what’s summer without those annual weekend cook outs? Is anything better than grilling a nice piece of cow on your brand new, (or is that slightly used) fancy grill that you just picked up at the Home Depot or on Ebay? Just in case one ever wanted a JENN-AIR grill with a few extra condiments, look no further than Ebay…And why would you want to? After all, "You can get anything on eBay"…Gosh, what an ingenious slogan!
For guys, shopping for a grill is like a woman shopping for purses or shoes…Although, it’s worth pointing out, we only get one grill! So the question we ask ourselves, (or I say should our better halves) how much would you pay to cook up a few steaks on a fancy grill? Depending on what the needs are, but if for some reason a baseball signed by Manny Ramirez is thrown in to seal the deal then look no further than his auction on eBay. That’s right, Man-Ram has listed one on Ebay…With it going a little something like this:
["Hi, I'm Manny Ramirez," the listing said. "I bought this AMAZING grill for about $4,000 and I used it once. ... But I never have the time to use it because I am always on the road. I would love to sell it and you will get an autographed ball signed by me…Enjoy it, Manny Ramirez."]
For all the doubters out there Man-Ram has even listed seven photographs, two with Ramirez posing next to the large grill that appears to be located in a garage showing it’s "true authentic". The item is in Weston, Fla., where Ramirez has a home. Well isn’t this all so nice…It appears Man-Ram is turning over a new leaf and thinking about other people instead of himself. Isn’t that swell? When asked about the grill being on eBay, Man-Ram replied, "I'm a businessman," he said with a laugh. "I need the money." Well, there goes my theory on that whole new leaf thing! Needed the money, I guess that $160 million hasn’t helped your financial situation any, has it Man-Ram? With having to begin selling on eBay just to get by.
What are we to think of this? Is "It", (no pun intended) a scam or a sad, but true story? I’ll be honest, at first when I heard about it, I thought it was complete bogus, but considering the source I believe it has real merits. Selling your grill on eBay…This coming from a waste of sperm who has been highlighted by numerous trade requests, has gone inside "The Green Monster" to find out he relieved himself in a paper cup. Hey Man-Ram, why didn’t you put that on eBay? I’m sure there’s a market value for that too! Let’s not forget most recently, early this spring, you already created a stir when he had a classic car for sale at an auction in Atlantic City and wasn’t expected to report on time only to when no one came up with the minimum amount required and the car didn't sell. Golly, wasn’t his mom sick too? All-in-All, it’s just Man-Ram being Man-Ram…So why shouldn’t we believe that eBay is his latest business venture?
Well Man-Ram, nobody takes you or your damn auction too seriously…And why should we? Both are jokes! I can see why eBay pulled the plug on you latest business investment, considering the fact that last time I checked as of 10a.m. Eastern time the bid was up to a mere $99,000,000 and two hours later they pulled plug. Although, you might be on to something Man, since the real estate market has dropped off mirroring A-Rod’s production in any post season, perhaps we should start investing in the profitable world of "Barbecue Grilling". I wonder where I should put my money into…Weber, Coleman, or Charmglow? Should I talk to my local Home Depot & Lowe’s sales representative to see if they can advise me on which investment is right for me or should I just come to you Man-Ram? Although I must warn you Ram, I drive a hard bargain…If I do decide to sign with your advisory, well, the deal comes with an autographed baseball and oh, yeah, the $70 extra for shipping is waved too!
(Auction relisted on March 21 @ 2:25 p.m. EST http://cgi.ebay.com/Manny-Ramirez-Grill-Tribute-Auction-Boston-Redsox_W0QQitemZ110106060828QQcategoryZ1469QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)
LastRowSports.com
