Awesomely Awesome Patriots Training Camp Moments
| 12
|
by MegECass110
This morning, my two best friends and I made our annual pilgrimage to Gillette Stadium for Patriots Training Camp. Needless to say, this season is a little bit different, with so many new faces and Super Bowl expectations. Despite the fact that I am currently suffering from a vicious sunburn, we had a blast, as always, so here are some notes and random quotes on the 8:45-10:45 practice...
- It was soooooooo hot. Milk was a bad choice. 85 and humid. Yick.
- Randy Moss stands out on the offense like a needle in a haystack. He's effing HUGE compared to everyone else, especially the receivers. His 6-4 frame made him easy to spot whenever he was on the field. He's surprisingly skinny (maybe it was just his legs) too, so he literally is a needle in a haystack
- BTW, he's been given #81, and because I am who I am, I think it's an awful sign that he and TO now have the same number. Moss's official jersey was selling for $75, in case you were wondering.
- I had to explain to my friends (not big football fans) the whole Moss trade, how good he was, how bad he was, and how he was trying to revive his career. I told them the "straight cash, homey" story too. They didn't appreciate it nearly as much as I did.
- Player I was most impressed with? Wes Welker. He looked great returning kicks, running in between the tackles and he showed pretty good speed.
- A dude at the top of the bleachers, wearing a Zach Thomas Dolphins jersey, yelled, "WELLLLLLLLLLLKERRRRRRRRRR! COME BAAAAAAAAAACK!" I thoroughly enjoyed that one.
- I'm essentially setting him up failure, because we talkin' bout practice. But I've already figured this out, because these are the types of things I think about when I'm bored. Welker went to Texas Tech. With his reckless style of play, and the rampant obsession with Chuck Norris jokes on my college campus, I've compared him to Chuck Norris, as in, "Wes Welker would eat Chuck Norris alive." As many of you know, Norris starred in "Walker, Texas Ranger." So now, whenever I refer to Wes Welker, I refer to him as...wait for it...Welker, Texas Ranger. Bada-chsh!
- Tom Brady didn't throw as much as he has in camps in the past, which is fine with me. He looked alright, not particularly sharp, but not awful.
- Of course, when we're talking about how he REALLY looks, like when he has his helmet off, he looked fabulous as always. I've known one of the girls I was with since preschool, and she knows how obsessed I am with #12. Today was finally the day she understood why, seeing him in the flesh 50 feet away. She was making orgasmic noises, quietly, throughout the practice. "Oh...my...God...he's wiping his face..."
- Breaking news: Brady was just upset by Shaq in Who's Now. Pardon me while I go shove Stuart Scott into a hole and leave him to die.
- Back. I did not get the chance to see much of him from where we were sitting, but the guys at patriots.com were very impressed with Brandon Meriweather. He played all day at corner, which made me feel good, so there's not a lot of pressure for him to step in at safety right away.
- Adalius Thomas spent a lot of time with the other linebackers and Coach Belichick; he's learning the system from some of the best.
- Two hours up, autograph time, aka one of the scariest moments of my life. Usually, 6-7 players will come over to all the fans to sign stuff. When Brady walks by, all hell breaks loose and I am nearly crushed by a combination of 8-year-old boys and their 40-year-old fathers. One of those 40-year-old men was standing behind me.
Man: "When Brady walks by, would you hold out my football for me?"
Me: "Absolutely."
I will never forget the feeling I had when Brady signed a magazine for me two years ago. I figured I'd share that feeling at every chance I get.
- On the bright side, Ty Warren was very nice and very large. Tedy Bruschi signed my friend's hat. I decided to go into reporter-in-training in mode and asked Bruschi how his healing wrist was, he just smiled and kept thinking in his head "Get me away from these crazy people..." Brady walked by, I yelled out "Congratulations!" (in reference to him becoming a father) but he didn't hear me. Once Bruschi moved on we dashed back up to the car.
- There was a giant inflatable rum bottle at the entrance to the field, which my friend demanded me to take a picture of her with.
- Driving out of the parking lot, we started inevitably talking about the Brady baby.
My preschool friend: "Would you crap your pants if they named the kid Meg?"
Me: "I would not crap my pants. I would die."
And I guess I'll leave it at that.
