AstroWatch Live

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This is a special edition of AstroWatch Why is it Special? Well, one, because it’s actually on time, and two – because I’m typing this live, as I watch the game! Yes, the return of The Rocket, the comeback of Clemens, the homecoming of Houston’s Hero… and I think that’s enough of the alliteration for now.

Remember, I’m writing this in the UK, so all timings are UK time – the game starts at 01:05 over here. Its 00:35 here right now, time to go organise snacks and beverages. Seeya in 30 minutes!

00:40: OK, I have my first tough decision of the evening. Bowl of cornflakes or some toast? I opt for toast, which means I can dabble in some fizzy beverage at the same time. Checking the fridge, I’m left with **NEW** Lime Coke. Other drinks are available, if Pepsi or Irn Bru would like to sponsor me, by the way.

Checked out the line-ups and yes, Roger is the starting pitcher, which is good news, and Morgan GOD Ensberg is in at third base – also good news! I’m also hoping to see the AFLAC duck – I love that little guy!

00:50: Watching a little Baltimore Orioles baseball, just to get me in the mood – and they’re interviewing someone in the commentary box. I have no idea who he is, although they are gushing over him like he’s the second coming. He’s apparently a pitcher, although he says he can hit too if they’d let him. Means nothing to me, but hey, there ya go.

00:51: The co-commentator, who sounds a hell of a lot like Hank Hill to me, says he’s a nice kid and he’s called Pedro something. There you go. You live and learn.

01:05: Hmmm. First commercial break and no AFLAC duck yet. I’m mildly disappointed. The camera scans the crowd, and I see a man in a Red Sox jersey. Boy, did he take a wrong turn!

01:09: Standing ovation for Rog as he makes his way to the mound for the first pitch of his 2006 Major League season. He looks good taking his warm-up pitches anyway. The stats say Torii Hunter is 0-20 against Roger. I like this.

01:12: First pitch is a strike; the rust shows as Rog fluffs a chance on a shot hit back towards him by Luis Castillo. It’s not an easy take, but you can see he’s out of practice. However, first pitch to Kubel is a strike; second pitch brings up a double play. Nice going so far by the Rocket – and it gets even better as Mauer is the first recipient of a Clemens strike out. Nice quick inning, and the fluffed catch aside, everything so far is smooth.

01:17: Break. No AFLAC duck. Dammit! Still, this will be the first time I’ve seen Francisco Liriano; He’s on my Fantasy Team, natch! Biggio grounds out, Chris Burke gets a hit, but a double play on Berkman means the Astros are straight back out to field.

01:24: Rog has the moves all working, it seems – a 4 pitch at bat sees off Cuddyer with a pop-up; Morneau gets the first hit of the game for the Twins with a double though. C’mon Rog, let’s not have a mess like the last minor league start…a three pitch at bat sees off Torii Hunter. He’s now 0-21. Ha! I could do that!

01:30: Tifee walks. How will Clemens handle this? By taking Jason Bartlett to 3-2 and then striking him out to close the inning. Yus!

01:39: Liriano looks good; that has to be the excuse as Morgan grounds out. Yeah, he must be REALLY good to make that happen. Preston Wilson picks up the walk next, and up comes Jason Lane. As I suspected, that’s the inning over, as Lane grounds into a simple double play. GAH!

01:46: Clemens vs. Liriano up to start this inning; Clemens takes the K, Liriano almost takes the head of the Astros first base coach as his bat goes further than I think I can walk without sweating. While I think about that, Castillo gets to first off an infield hit. Biggio seems a little slow; must be all that voting for himself for the All-Star Game. Castillo steals 2nd as I type that. I think I’m jinxed. Kubel notches a double, and Castillo heads for home to open the scoring.

01:50: I’m getting a little worried now. Rog looks a little pissed off with himself, as he’s mumbling to himself constantly between pitches. As much as the power is there, the accuracy and control are slightly missing. To me, as an unadulterated amateur, it looks more like rust than a decline.

01:52: A smart play from Clemens holds Kubel at second, and he still has time to toss to first to get out Kubel. Next pitch to Cuddyer is a strike. His control seems to depend on his confidence…

01:54: Cuddyer singles in Kubel off a 3-2 pitch from Clemens. I can’t see him lasting past the fifth inning, purely based on how angry he looks when he makes a mistake.

01:59: Boos ring out as the home plate ump make a dubious call, and Clemens is denied the strike-out. More boos as the third plate ump calls checked swing, and Morneau walks. Never mind, it’s Torii Hunter up next, and we know what happens there. Never the less… it’s the third inning, and Rog is up to 66 pitches already.

02:03: 6 pitches later, and Hunter goes back to the dug-out with another K to his name and 0-22.

02:08: Clemens is up to bat after the bottom of the order just goes straight up and down in front of him. So much for a rest between innings!

02:09: Clemens strikes out. Not a surprise, really!

02:12: Tiffee grounds out to Lance Berkman. Good. He has a stupid name that almost sound like a dummy of some sort. Bartlett meanwhile, gets a hit to left field and gets to first base. It’s just struck me why Rog isn’t doing as well as I’d like – his goatee isn’t too well formed. When he has the full-on evil black goatee, he pitches like a demon…

02:14: Liriano sac bunts, and Bartlett gets to second. Luis Castillo’s 100% record is over with as he is out at first, and that’s the inning. Good quick innings for Roger there – if the offence can put up a bit of a fight, we can maybe get him a rest. If he can pitch like the 4th inning, not the 3rd for the rest of the evening, then it’s just possible he could make it to the 6th or 7th inning. It’s time for the offence to put some runs on the board for him. Sound like last year? Yup, thought so too.

02:17: I’m still upset by the lack of the AFLAC duck. However, the guy in orange jump suit and CLEMENS space helmet holding up a sign that says “That’s a ROGER, Houston – our Rocket has landed!” nearly makes up for it. He looks like a reject from a Beastie Boys video. One of the commentators asks if he looked in the mirror before he left home…

02:19: Commentators claim that Liriano said “I wanna be the next Jamie Moyer; pitch until I’m 54 and be a creepy old guy that listens to AM radio.” I hope he did, because that’s funny!

02:20: AFLAC TRIVIA – WITH THE DUCK!!! YES! YES!

02:21: Oh yeah, three up three down for the Astros. Bah. Still… “AF-LAC!” heeheeheehee!

02:24: Roger comes up to begin the 5th inning… and the duck’s back! Its some trivia question that I have no idea what the answer is… but never mind, it’s the DUCK! All hail the AFLAC duck!

02:26: Russ Springer is warming up in the bullpen as Kubel gets a base hit. He doesn’t get far as he’s thrown out at second and Rog SPRINTS over to first to claim the double play on Morneau. Awesome!

02:31: Cuddyer is up next as Clemens heads towards 100 pitches. His 100th pitch is popped up into foul territory, and Berkman makes the out to end the inning. Not sure if Rog will be back for the 6th inning - maybe just to give Springer more time to warm up if we do our usual vanishing act on offence. To be fair, it’s not that we’re THAT bad – Liriano looks like a hell of a pitcher. We are just in desperate need of getting bat on ball right now. If this inning makes it to a Clemens at-bat, I fully expect Clemens to sit out and a pinch hitter to come in.

02:34: Now… It’s Morgan GOD Ensberg. C’mon Morgy-baby! Ball. Strike. That’s it; lull him into a false sense of security. Strike. Enough lulling, now hit the damn ball!

02:36: Strike-out. Damn! Preston Wilson gets a base hit off his very first pitch, so it can be done! He’s not invincible! Liriano CAN be hit! Some fat guy falls over behind the dug outs trying to catch a foul ball. Always makes me laugh. One day, I will be that guy. Oh yes. Jason Lane hits into ANOTHER double play. You think he understands the rules of the game?

02:40: I think I may be obsessed. I Google AFLAC and watch some of the AFLAC duck commercials between innings. That duck rules!

02:41: Sure enough, 6th inning and Russ Springer is up. Clemens threw 100 pitches, 59 of them strikes. He gave up 6 hits, 2 earned runs and had 4 strikeouts. Was it a good start? For a 43 year old playing his first game of the season, it’ll certainly do. It’s no worse than any of the other pitchers’ stats on the season.

02:42: Can Springer follow up on what Rog has produced? No. Morneau hits a home run, and it’s 3-0. Can we maybe get the AFLAC duck pitching? I think he might just be of more use than Russ Springer. Still, Torii Hunter will be happy. He’s up next, and there’s no Clemens.

02:45: He still gets out though. HA! Now it’s the stupidly named Tiffee, who hits it straight at Springer. Without time to think, he catches it and makes the out. There’s the key – don’t let him think! As if to prove my theory, Jason Bartlett is struck out.

02:49: Ausmus is up… and down as Liriano picks up another K. Seriously, Astros batters – practice a little huh? That bat in your hands is supposed to HIT the BALL into the FIELD sometimes, not just make a convenient fan to cool you down as you whiff at another pitch… Everett strikes out. Liriano is just EATING us right now. Willy Taveras is pinch hitting for Springer. I’m torn between wanting an Astros comeback, and hoping Liriano can pull out a complete game shutout. Taveras pops out while I type this.

02:56: Fernando Nieve comes to the mound. Meanwhile, I watched another 3 AFLAC duck commercials. Liriano is batting, so the complete game is still on. Damn, sometimes I hate Fantasy Baseball. I should be crying about this game, but I’m kinda semi-pulling for Liriano now. Nieve commits a cardinal sin in my book, and walks the pitcher. It’s announced that the attendance at Minute Maid Park is the most ever. Yeah, and how many will be back to watch this ‘display’ of batting from the Astros?

02:59: Castillo grounds into a double play, and all is well again for now. Not really, as Liriano can go and sit down and rest up for the 8th inning. Grrrr, or Yay. I’m undecided.

03:01: Nieve strikes out Kubel, and we’re into the 7th inning stretch. In honour of Jonny, Josh and Dave – I actually do it. If you’ve never seen Channel 5 coverage in the UK, that means nothing to you, but I guarantee you – I’m laughing my head off right now. Time for more AFLAC duck!

03:05: Liriano walks Biggio, his second walk of the night; he’s only on 69 pitches though. Astros still haven’t got a man on 2nd base all night. Chris Burke pops up to Castillo, and still no man on 2nd. Lance Berkman? Out at right field. Morgan GOD Ensberg is up next. Hey! They’re playing “Ghost Town” by The Specials. Awesome! Maybe it’s an omen…

03:11: Nope, he strikes out. This Liriano is good. That makes 80 pitches, 59 strikes, with no hits and 6 strikeouts. Yeesh!

03:14: Nieve is still on the mound for the 8th. Instantly, the count goes to 3-1 against him. Mauer looks like he’s hit a double off of Nieve, but an AWESOME play from Preston Wilson off the wall saves the extra base. It’s nice to see that they’re still busting a gut out in the field.

03:17: Nieve strikes out Cuddyer. Woohoo! Ruins it by letting Mauer hit a single off his next pitch; Mauer now needs a triple to hit for the cycle. On this showing, I wouldn’t bet against him getting it.

03:19: Torii Hunter finally gets a hit… and it’s a single base RBI to make the score 4-0. This is now verging on a warm-up game for the Twins. Tiffee pops out to Biggio in the meantime.

03:22: There’s an ad for the Nextel cup racing. BOOO! The car and pit crew are no AFLAC duck. Nieve strikes out Bartlett, and we’re off to the 8th inning. Me? I’m off to the toilet; that Lime Coke is taking its toll.

03:24: back in time to see an ad for $1 Hot Dog day! YEAH BABY! While I’m drooling, Preston Wilson gets on base with ANOTHER hit off Liriano. I wish he’d share whatever it is he’s doing with the rest of them. Still, it doesn’t matter, it’s Jason Lane. Double play, here we come!

03:27: I apologise to Jason Lane - it’s a double play of sorts as he hits a two run homer! It’s choo-choo time! Liriano isn’t amused, and a quick chat with the coach leaves him in the game, but with Rincon warming up in the Twins bullpen. With the pitcher due to bat soon, it’s safe to say that Nieve’s night is over.

03:30: I put my Astros cap on, in the vague hope that it has magical powers.

03:31: Brad Ausmus strikes out. The cap doesn’t work. Oh wait, I have it on back to front. I turn it round and await the magic to happen.

03:32: Everett lines out to Kubel. Stupid cap. Eric Bruntlett steps in to bat in the pitcher’s spot. It really worked, as he pops out on his second pitch.

03:35: Liriano is taken out of the game, with Lew Ford hitting for him; Trevor Miller is in to replace Nieve.

03:40: Ford is out in centre field with an at-bat that may have lasted longer than some of the Astros entire innings tonight. Meanwhile, the announcers lament that Rice are out of the College World series. This means precisely nothing to me, so I don’t really know why I’m typing it.

03:42: Castillo lines out to second, and Kubel strikes out. We go to the last chance saloon, with Biggio, Burke and Berkman due up. C’mon lads! Liriano’s gone, you can do it!

03:45: Joe Nathan is pitching for the Twins. Other than that, it’s business as usual; Biggio strikes out, closely followed by Burke doing likewise. Berkman is up; I hope for a walk or hit to get up Morgan GOD Ensberg to homer in the tying run. I still have the cap on. It has to work, surely!

03:52: Base hit through the middle! It’s Ensberg time! My cap is MAGIC!

03:53: Ensberg hits… but Lew Ford catches it, and the game is over, we’ve lost 4-2. The cap is now firmly OFF.

Well, it wasn’t the big blast that we (being Astros fans, that is) hoped for. Clemens took the loss, but he didn’t look bad at all. Sure, it’s not the Rocket of old yet, but this is his first start, and you have to cut him some slack for that. He showed that even at this level, he’s still a decent pitcher, and his presence alone is probably worth 1 or 2 extra wins a season.

No, the problems here are the same old same old that I’ve been pointing out all season – the offence is terrible. There has to be an influx of hitting talent to that line-up somehow. How they do it, I don’t know. But it needs to be done, and done decisively if we want to hit the playoffs. It’s 4am. I’m going to bed. G’night peeps!