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Barkingclam
Freelance writer, student

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The Yankee's mahvelous new star player

by Barkingclam
created March 11, 2008, last edited February 10, 2009
11
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When I heard the Yankees had a new star player earlier today, I wasn’t even remotely surprised, until I read who it was. It was Mr. Billy Crystal, the guy who hosts the Oscars, who starred in City Slickers and produced 61*, one of the best baseball movies ever made.

Hearing that Billy Crystal is playing for the Yankees was a pretty good sign for two reasons. First it just gives me another excuse to hate the Yankees (or Billy, for that matter). It gives me another excuse to pull myself away from classes and catch a ball game, even if it’s just spring training.

And, by giving the talking heads a fun little topic, it signals a realization that spring is finally here. More on that later, I’ve got some questions to ask myself about Mr. Crystal first.

But does he have any right to be on the field? Is he taking a valuable roster spot away from some rookie? And can he bat cleanup?

Like I said before, it’s spring training, bub. He’ll play two, maybe three innings and get a single at bat. He’s stealing nobody’s thunder, at least until he ad-libs after his one and only strikeout.

And Billy always seemed more of a leadoff guy, anyway.

Besides, it’s not like there’s no precedent, either.

George Plimpton pitched in an exhibition game, Bill Murray called a Cubs game from the booth and Paul Gallico crouched behind the plate. Sure, they were journalists, but they were living the dream, too.

Is it worthwhile to ask about his pay? The AP report makes no mention if he’s getting paid, only that he signed a one-day contract. If he is, is he donating the money to charity?

What if he’s paying for the right to be there, like Garth Brooks did a few years back? Is that going to line Mr. Steinbrenner’s pockets?

Who cares? It’s spring training; let the man live out a dream. I doubt he’s getting paid, even if some union stipulation says he should be.

Still, I like this story. Having just suffered through a terrible snowstorm that left something like two feet of snow all around my place, making it impossible to get outside on Saturday night to see Duke play North Carolina, I had finally gotten my fill of winter.

Snow? Blah. Ice? Double blah. Hockey? Call me when the playoffs start.

But baseball, the summer game, was on TV today. The lush green fields, crystal-blue skies and the warm weather of Legends field were just what I needed to see.

Who cares if it was meaningless or another Boston/New York game? Opening day, and spring, are just around the corner.

I can't wait, and by the sounds of things, neither can Billy.


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Rosie O'Donnell wants to play left field for the New York Mets. Omar needs to think about this a little more.
Permalink | Reply
FrugolfVarsity Captain
610 days ago
Score 1+-
If Billy goes 3 for 3 will the Sox make him a counter offer??
Permalink | Reply
TheSportsAppleAll-American
610 days ago
Score 0+-
The Mets are already in talks with the Yankees for the rights to Billy Crystal. They are looking to get younger
Permalink
Sj-hypocycloidAll-American
610 days ago
Score 1+-
The way Met players are injuring themselves, Crystal might be a good plan B. Wonder if Costas would be available in a pinch?
Permalink
Steel TownDraft Pick
610 days ago
Score 0+-
The integrity of the game has never been more apparent.
Permalink | Reply
BigPPupMajor Leaguer
610 days ago
Score 1+-
If you're going to bring in a celebrity as a tongue and cheek hire, at least get someone more relevant than Billy Crystal.
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Carrot Top?
Permalink
Anonymous Fanatic #1
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Billy Ray Cyrus?
Permalink
BigPPupMajor Leaguer
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Billy Ray Cyrus was in a hit movie more recently than Billy Crystal
Permalink
BigPPupMajor Leaguer
610 days ago
Score 2+-
Carrot Top would fail the steroids test.
Permalink
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
610 days ago
Score 1+-
@ BigP

Carrot Top would have no worries.

You damn well know that the players union would never allow estrogen testing.
Permalink
BigPPupMajor Leaguer
610 days ago
Score 2+-
Have you seen Carrot Top recently? He is ripped, and I know its not natural
Permalink
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
610 days ago
Score 0+-
So is Dustin Diamond....
Permalink
TheSportsAppleAll-American
610 days ago
Score 1+-
at least Crystal will be more productive than Carl Pavano
Permalink | Reply
Sj-hypocycloidAll-American
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Or Kevin Brown. They should have gone for Meg Ryan.
Permalink
Anonymous Fanatic #2
610 days ago
Score 1+-
Why don't they sign Kelvin Sampson? If nothing else, he can run the BP phone.
Permalink | Reply
Patrickburke1980All-American
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Yanks are desperate to reclaim the back pages from the Mets. Insignificant move for an insignificant team.
Permalink | Reply
BigPPupMajor Leaguer
610 days ago
Score 0+-
Lurking in the dark corners behind the fourth leg of the Chair is PB throwing the big grenades. Well done
Permalink
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Categories: Opinions | Opinions by User Barkingclam | March 11, 2008 | March 2008 | Mlb Opinions | New york yankees Opinions | Baseball Opinions | Major league baseball Opinions | Barkingclam Opinions

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