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Too Manny Stiles
The Sleepy Switch Operator for the ArmchairGM Slow Motion Train Wreck...

GO T.B.!!!


[edit] Rays' Magic Number is currently - 162!!!

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Manny Stiles
Sports is my crack. ArmchairGM is my pipe.

-mannystiles@aol.com

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The Eternal Debate - Nut Crunch vs Face Plant - Which is Worse? (Video Compilation)

by Too Manny Stiles and Manny Stiles
created March 30, 2008, last edited July 14, 2009
20
Vote

The Eternal Debate

A series of never-ending questions with no clear answers.

Today, we will look at a classic:

Nut Crunch vs. Face Plant!!!

If you have a set of testicles, you know that getting hit in them is no fun (unless you are a truly facked up psychopathic, masochistic pervert).


If you have a face, you've probably spent a fair majority of your life attempting to keep it as pretty as it can be.


I have travelled the internet... - well, the YouTube part of it - far and wide and stole... I mean, borrowed what I think are some of the finest evidence I could compile to make this debate happen. By the best of my judgement, none of these scenes are faked or altered to appear real. They ARE real nut crunches and real face plants (plus a few others that are BOTH).

"In the Red corner - Nut Crunch! In the Blue corner, Face Plant! Now let's have a clean fight!"
"In the Red corner - Nut Crunch! In the Blue corner, Face Plant! Now let's have a clean fight!"

Many of these you've seen before and many you will watch over and over while issuing the obligatory "Ooooooh!" and feeling sympathy pains for the idiots... I mean, victims of this wonderful debate. And while I'm sure EVERY single one of these idiots felt the sting of "the agony of defeat", and many were undoubtedly hurt, rest assured that I included no scenes of blood or of kids getting hurt and that watching it won't hurt you at all!


  • Note - the first video is of former MLBer and cancer survivor Brett Butler, whom I have personally met and asked about the famous scene with his son - who despite his wicked bat wielding skills is now into computers and not playing baseball.

Exhibit A - ENJOY!

Credits

1. To all the idiots who made it possible and the "friends" of said idiots who didn't stop the rolling of the camera yet almost all of them cared enough to take the time to ask "Dude, are you OK?" while laughing...

2. Yet Another... Beats By Man Production.

3. Song Drunken Stumble written and performed by John Funk of "The Big Dream Band" - courtesy of MuTeCoRe Industries and Madeyedias Entertainment.

4. Seahawks Fans will appreciate the idiot at :48 of the video. Kinda sums up the Shaun Alxander Era, eh?


Which is Worse?
Loading...
Nut Crunchers
Face Plants


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
SSreportersLegend
588 days ago
Score 5+-
Manny, do you want to make a poll out of this? And nut crunches win all the time.
Permalink | Reply
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
588 days ago
Score 2+-
Great idea, but I gotta go... can you do it for me and I'll "owe you one"???
Permalink
SSreportersLegend
588 days ago
Score 4+-
There you go.
Permalink | Reply
LASportsblogAAA-er
588 days ago
Score 2+-
There is nothing funnier then the guy whose friends tied a rope around his leg and then pull it while he is peeing - classic!
Permalink | Reply
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 2+-
Yeah, I believe the story goes - he was bet that he couldn't pee a hole in the ice and the rope was - as a precaution - tied around his leg just in case he did and it might break the ice, they would be able to "save him". Gotta love "Friends"!!!
Permalink
LASportsblogAAA-er
588 days ago
Score 3+-
Nut Crunch is worst because many times you can get your weight shifted to anther part of your body making the face plant not quite as painful as it could be. Whereas the nut crunch is almost always full weight on the nuts.
Permalink | Reply
SSreportersLegend
588 days ago
Score 2+-
People have actually been seriously injured to the brink of death because of the force to the nuts.
Permalink
Falcon02520Legend
588 days ago
Score 4+-
I was too busy holding my nuts and closing my face to watch the whole thing clearly...
Permalink | Reply
Falcon02520Legend
588 days ago
Score 4+-
oh yeah, and good job Manny... for once I grabbed my balls and wasn't called a pervert ;)
Permalink
Taytay 24All-American
587 days ago
Score 3+-
Pervert.
Permalink
J-DawgVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 2+-
I'd have to go with nut crunches, if for nothing but the length of the pain. A face plant just burns for a few minutes, but nut shots can sting for hours.
Permalink | Reply
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
587 days ago
Score 2+-
There was an incident in a football match when a player fouled an opponent by kicking him where it hurts. The commentator declared: "He'll get a yellow card for his tackle! ... And he'll get an ice pack for his!"
Permalink | Reply
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
587 days ago
Score 3+-
My favourite gaffe.
Permalink | Reply
Taytay 24All-American
587 days ago
Score 2+-
An Australian classic! Related: does anyone know if there is video on the web from Turino 2006 of the Canadian skier (freestyle aerials, I believe) whose skis went straight up in the air without him, while he performed his trick and stuck the landing ski-less? I've been looking for two years and have found nothing, and would love to have it.
Permalink
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 0+-
I had a Great Uncle that died due to a ruptured testicle. He was riding a horse that flipped over on him and crushed him. He had multiple injuries but the ruptured testicle ended up poisoning his bloods stream. But then again, it was in the 1920s... Although I think many of you are underestimating faceplants. Broken bones in the face take a while to heal...
Permalink | Reply
Bobbyjim45Draft Pick
587 days ago
Score 2+-
I voted for nut crunchers just because of the shear pain (and the fact that a good one makes you have to take a crap, which is just plain wierd), but the face plant can break bones and make you look bad. A nut cruncher may cause you to never have children, but a face plant may cause you to never get a lady to begin with...
Permalink
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 0+-
See? When you think about it's a tough debate isn't it?
Permalink
J ManLittle Leaguer
587 days ago
Score 3+-
This is not sports stuff but still funny. My vote is for my balls.
Permalink | Reply
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 3+-
Soccer, boxing, pole vaulting, skateboarding, bowling, wiffleball, bmx, extreme pogo sticking, billiards, surfing, gymnastics, Le Parkour, motocross, pissing on ice... what is NOT sports about it? OK, the cow was just thrown in there to be funny...
Permalink
RomiezzoLegend
587 days ago
Score 3+-
I couldn't get through the entire video. Too much (indirect) pain.
Permalink | Reply
KelsdadAll-Star
587 days ago
Score 2+-
Little known fact. Most professional athletes, including NFL players, actually don't wear a cup. Why? Two reasons, one, it is uncomfortable as hell, and, two, a direct hit to the cajones WITH a cup is actually more painful than without one.
Permalink | Reply
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 0+-
I had a coach that was a 4 year All-American in college and was playing 3B in AAA when he had a bad bounce get the best of his cup and he ruptured a testicle and had to have it removed. He was never the same player after that and never made it to the bigs. He had a great name despite being a one-balled guy - Rod Johnson
Permalink
Falcon02520Legend
587 days ago
Score 3+-
I think people get used to wearing cups. When I first had to start wearing one I hated it; very uncomfortable. Now if I'm on the field and I don't have one on I feel out of place, uncomfortable, and vulnerable. It is all an adjustment in my opinion...
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
587 days ago
Score 2+-
I was coaching a state tournament team of 17-18 year olds (American Legion) and saw a kid get really hurt. Third baseman, charging a bunt, the batter decided to swing away, one hopped a shot right into his jewelry box, dropped him like he was shot. Actually went unconscious, had to be transported by ambulance. When the cut his pants off, the force of the hit broke his cup in three places. He ended up recovering and to my knowledge hasn't had any ill effects but I do know that was the last game he ever played, and he was Division 1 material.
Permalink | Reply
Steel TownDraft Pick
587 days ago
Score 2+-
I voted for faceplant. In all my years in sports, I only took one REAL shot to the nuts. And that was a deliberate attempt made by a not-so-brave turd who ran like a little girl until I fell down in pain. On the other hand, I have made many a face plant. I guess in my own experience I have done far better at protecting the jewels than protecting my face. My most notable face plant really wasn't a face plant, but more of a knee plant that landed directly on the bridge of my nose during a wrestling match. Had the aforementioned knee landed on my beanbag I may have voted for the nut crunch.
Permalink | Reply
EnyboDiv-I Stud
587 days ago
Score 4+-
I vote for face plant only because the people in those videos who actually want to get hit in the junk lose points in my opinion.
Permalink | Reply
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 0+-
As opposed to the idiots who think "jumping over a car" would be fun??
Permalink
J-DawgVarsity Captain
587 days ago
Score 2+-
A moving car nonetheless.
Permalink
Taytay 24All-American
586 days ago
Score 3+-
I don't think they jumped the car hoping they would face plant. As Enybo says, some of the nut crunchers have apparently asked someone to kick/punch them. I voted for face plant as well. Testicular pain isn't cool, but a wired-shut broken jaw lasts longer.
Permalink
EroosterMajor Leaguer
584 days ago
Score 1+-
Where did I see this before?
Permalink | Reply
Too Manny StilesVarsity Captain
584 days ago
Score 2+-
the magical internet?
Permalink
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