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Talk of the Town —
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-- Originally posted on thebigoz.com --
' Few local sports stories irritate me more than Dolphin-talk in March.
It is the bane of my existence as a resident homer in this sports wasteland.
The jaded fan might respond with asking “well, what the heck are we supposed to talk about then?”
Surely not the Panthers, who while self-destructing in the face of numerous late losses, are in danger of missing the playoffs for the eighth consecutive season. What’s that? They’re only 7 points out of the third seed? Really? Instead, the local response is, “I thought the Panthers were a football team in Carolina? And what is this hockey thing you keep mentioning?”
Certainly, not the Heat, who are just two seasons removed from winning the NBA title, and only make news when Dwyane Wade does something spectacular, when Pat Riley threatens to retire, or when he’s trading Shaquille O’Neal. Oh wait, perhaps you’ll hear how they currently own the worst record in the NBA. Why talk about them? “Wake me up if we own the #1 pick in the draft and grab Michael Beasley, and then wake me up again when we make the playoffs” you’ll hear.
You’ll probably not hear much on the Marlins, who are fresh off of their announcement that they’ve secured funding for a new baseball-only ballpark in Miami, and have just started spring-training. After all, they’ve traded their most popular players and are, by all accounts, in for a 50-60 win season at best. Don’t even mention them. Instead, let’s discuss how people really feel about the fish. “The Marlins suck, they trade everyone, the stadium is in a horrible location, and I’m a fan of the (insert: Mets, Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs) anyway, so wake me up when they’re in town, or when the Marlins are on their way to winning another World Series.”
Perhaps we could talk about how the University of Miami’s basketball team is on the verge of making the NCAA tournament this month, after emotional wins against the likes of Duke and Maryland.
Maybe we could talk about how local street-fighter Kimbo Slice is on pace to become some hybrid version of Mike Tyson and Mr. T., who is one part thug, one part charisma, all parts bad-ass.
No, no. None of that nonsense for us thanks. Instead, let’s talk about what the Dolphins are going to do with that #1 pick. Let’s discuss for the umpteenth consecutive year how they’re too weak at the QB position. Let’s lament on how we haven’t seen consistency at the position since Marino…again.
Yes, that’s it!
Let’s grab the local paper and read about how David Carr is available, and how he’d be a perfect stopgap until John Beck is ready, or until whomever the Phins decide to draft is, whatever comes first.
Never mind that Carr has been a complete bust since he was drafted #1 overall out of Fresno State in 2002, or that John Beck is not going to get any better by sitting out more games on the bench. That’s not important. Let’s not talk about how if Bill Parcells goes after Carr, he’d be praised, but how if previous coach Cam Cameron would have done the same thing, it’d be ridiculed.
Forget the fact that the draft is well over a month away, and that mini-camps are a lifetime away. Put the fact that the Dolphins have more holes than a single draft or free-agency can fix out of your mind. Ignore the understanding that the Dolphins are in for a few more seasons of losing records before they can even legitimately sniff a playoff spot. And ignore that while a few seasons of consecutive 9-7 or 10-6 records with first round playoff exits are a vast improvement, it’d simply return them to where they were under Dave Wannstedt five years ago.
Yeah, let’s talk about all that. In March.
Ironically, with 365 days of Dolphin-talk, locals struggle to fill Dolphin Stadium during those oh-so-many 10 days a year when they’re actually playing. Heaven forbid these people from actually putting up instead of shutting up.
So, let’s not talk about those other teams and their crazy stories. Instead, let’s talk about a 1-15 team that doesn’t play again until August, and how they should or shouldn’t go after a washed up QB that is going to do nothing to help them in the present, and less likely, in their future.
Because after all, for as different as all these other sports stories are, the people here do have one common thread that is woven throughout.
They’re all talk.
