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About the Author

Manny Stiles
Sports is my crack. ArmchairGM is my pipe.

-mannystiles@aol.com

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Now That Those Pesky Olympics Are Over, I Finally Get My WNBA Back!

by Manny Stiles
created August 28, 2008, last edited June 07, 2009
15
Vote

My name's Manny Stiles and I'm a WNBAholic.

Yes, I am a guy. I willingly admit that women playing basketball does not make me feel threatened. It's not hard for me to enjoy the WNBA because I love both basketball AND women. Putting the two together is all the more fun!

Hurray, the USA Women's basketball team won gold (how shocking!), Lauren Jackson is still hot just because she's that good at what she does (and I think she's hot) and Becky Hammon can get back to being the nice girl from South Dakota that's always underappreciated and overlooked without the media trying to make it into a story, blah, blah, blah.... The formality of handing out medals and the jetlag has worn off and now we have an all-out mad scramble for a playoff race in the Sister Association.

With most teams having seven to nine games left on their schedule, only the putrid Atlanta What's-Their-Names are out of the playoff hunt. Five teams are within a half game of a top division seed. Clearly, home court is a severe advantage in the WNBA as no team has even a .500 record on the road and only two teams have losing records at home (Washington Mystics at 6-7 and Atlanta What's-Their-Names at 1-13).

Becky Hammon (short) and Margo Dydek (not short) will meet again!
Becky Hammon (short) and Margo Dydek (not short) will meet again!

Even the Western Conference cellar-dwellers/defending champions Phoenix Mercury are but 3 games out of a playoff seeding. No one can count out a Diana Taurasi led team. The Mercury climbed out of last place last season to take the title. This year it will be much tougher. Center Tangela Smith is out for at least two more weeks due to right knee surgery and the Mercury clearly miss the presence of Aussie Forward Penny Taylor-Gil who stayed Down Under to train for the Olympics. She announced just before the games that she wouldn't return to the team once the Games in Deathcloudtown were over. (OK, one more Beijing Cheap Shot - I can't be the only person who thought the "Bird's Nest" looked an awful lot like a bedpan made from an erector set. I digress...)

I don't have much love for the Eastern Conference this year. Detroit is exposed without Cheryl Ford as evidenced by their 4 consecutive losses heading into the Olympic break and to be honest, New York and Connecticut (although I fear Lindsay Whalen for non-basketball related reasons) are just fattening up on having the Atlanta What's-Their-Names on their schedule so often (Oh, yes I did crack on Atlanta three times). Since I'm one of three men willingly writing about the WNBA on the internet (although the other two are probably ghostwritten by women... or transsexuals at worst), I consider myself an "expert" and all of the experts I know (myself) agree that the trophy was staying in the West.

The real battle will be out West as San Antonio, Seattle and Los Angeles vie for the top spot. It's been clear all season that the Western Conference has been dominant. Seattle came into the season with very high hopes, a revamped and improved roster and what I thought was going to be an undefeated season. Instead, über-Forward/20 and 10 machine Lauren Jackson will be out with ankle surgery until the second round of the playoffs (if the Storm even make it that far without her) and Swin Cash will be lost for the season once she admits back surgery will most likely fix her ailing back. The Storm will be relying on Yolanda Griffith and Sheryl Swoopes, who are both pretending to be shadows of the players they once were. At least Sue Bird is still so darned cute.

In San Antonio, the Silver Stars are going to have to restrain their awe of Becky Hammon shiny Bronze medal and rely on the balance of their bench depth and the trio of Hammon, Forward Sophia Young and the Belgian Center Ann Wauters. I don't know how they've been doing it other than relying on Young's athleticism and veteran wily Ruth Riley as the defensive infusion off the bench. Hammon is a pretty decent player, but I didn't have any qualm with her not getting invited to Team USA, because she's simply not that good. The Silver Stars' 18-9 record seems mirage-ish to me.

Which leaves us with the Los Angeles Sparks. A year ago, the Sparks were a sad sack franchise devoid of their face and most prominent talent, Lisa Leslie due to her selfish, team-second decision to have a baby and finished with the league's worst record. It turned out to be a great year to suck since they got the first pick in the draft who is the WNBA's Bob Pettit in University of Tennessee's Candace Parker . (I say Bob Pettit, because the WNBA's Wilt Chamberlain isn't here yet... Remember people, it's only Year 12 of the WNBA and Lisa Leslie is the George Mikan, so there.)

The WNBA's Marketing Department is about to have it's dream come true!
The WNBA's Marketing Department is about to have it's dream come true!

The tandem of Leslie and Parker are the league's1-2 leaders in rebounds per game and Sparks' opponents are about to have another reason to tremble. Los Angeles announced Tuesday they had signed 7'2" Polish Powerhouse/Center Margo Dydek. Yes, THAT 7'2" chick that is a Redwood amongst Rose Bushes and all-time WNBA career blocks leader. Dydek formerly played for Connecticut but took last season off as she was off bearing children as well (apparently it was "popular" to get knocked up in 2007) While Dydek is a stiff as far as 7'2" white chicks go, she is a dominant force in the middle, certainly capable as a player as she is a former Defensive Player of the Year, a two-time all star and will only enable Leslie and Parker as well as Delisha Milton-Jones to run rampant on their competition.

As the games resume, despite my Phoenix allegiance, I can only foresee the Los Angeles Sparks hoisting the trophy after the dust of the post-Olympic scrum settles. Maybe Candace Parker can get a dunk in a Finals game and we can "ooh" and "aah" as the scoreboard operator reminds us that a dunk is just two points in any league! As long as the games are good I'll be entertained and if Rick Mahorn isn't starting any fights, I'll be happy... eh, maybe if Rick Mahorn smashes Bill Laimbeer with a chair, it's ok.

Hurray for the return of the WNBA and as always, hurray for Women!!!


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 0+-
Coming in three weeks - Part Two: "Now that the Pesky U.S. Open Is Over, I Finally Get My Burn Notice Back!"
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 1+-
How are Rick Mahorn and Bill Laimbeer red links?
Permalink
CoreyisarealboyMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 1+-
How is Delisha Milton-Jones red linked? Unbelievable!...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 0+-
Fine point, (She might be a blue link as DeLisha Milton-Jones or just as DeLisha Milton?) but Sheryl Swoopes too???
Permalink
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
440 days ago
Score 1+-
If I was Dydek, I wouldn't be able to resist holding the ball so that whenever Hammon jumped, it'd be just out of her reach...
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 0+-
It's hard to score if you hold the ball. Dydek is a good defender, but her offensive prowess is offensive. However, She's going to make 6' 5" Leslie and 6' 4" Parker IMPOSSIBLE for other teams to guard...
Permalink
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
440 days ago
Score 1+-
But it makes it pretty difficult for your opponents to score...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
439 days ago
Score 0+-
That's why man invented the 24 second shot clock.
Permalink
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
439 days ago
Score 1+-
Yeah, but if it's 80-60 with 2 minutes left, I still wouldn't be able to resist...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
439 days ago
Score 0+-
And that's why you're not 7'2" and in the WNBA.
Permalink
Oh No RomoDraft Pick
440 days ago
Score 1+-
And here I was thinking I was the only WNBA fan......Crap, did I say that out loud?
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 0+-
One day, I'll get around to putting my video from the Mercury's championship rally from last year. I wasn't the only guy there!!! Sure, I might have been the only straight guy, but still...


Seriously, if you like hot girls and can ignore Grannydykes, you won't be disappointed in attending a WNBA game. Plus the games are better than you expect in person - it's a crowd oriented experience. HIGHLY recommended for disgusting perverts AND basketball fans alike.
Permalink
Agent0Red-Shirting
440 days ago
Score 1+-
that picture is better than the Yao-Boykins picture.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 0+-
Becky is actually taller than Earl. 5'6" to 5'5"!!! I've seen Earl in the gym a couple years ago, he's no slouch... dude can put up reps at 300+ on the bench press.
Permalink
AmphibiousSportsDuoVarsity
440 days ago
Score 1+-
Only you would name drop Earl Boykins.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 0+-
Just a name association game. I didn't bring it up; How many opportunities does one get to tell stories of Earl?
Permalink
AmphibiousSportsDuoVarsity
440 days ago
Score 1+-
I got Earl Weaver and Boog Powell's autographs when I saved some orphans from a fire. Ok, only Earl, I just wanted to say Boog Powell.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
440 days ago
Score 1+-
OK, we can play this game... seems fitting to do on a WNBA article.

I interviewed Frank Robinson once and asked him about his days with Earl Weaver and Boog Powell, does that count?

BTW - how do you know Earl wasn't one of the orphans? Because the orphans were taller?
Permalink
AmphibiousSportsDuoVarsity
440 days ago
Score 1+-
It was because Earl started arguing with one of the firefighters.
Permalink
CheezerAll-Star
440 days ago
Score 3+-
Not sur eif this is relevant, but I want to tell a story too.

When I was in junior high, I went to a car show that had a Centerfold (Playboy or Penthouse, don't remember which) as the celebrity signing autographs.

On a dare, I told her that I didn't recognize her with her clothes on.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
439 days ago
Score 1+-
I went to high school with a girl from my hometown that was in Playboy and Penthouse (not a pet or playmate, though). We sat next to each other on the bus. Nice girl. Cute, but I wouldn't call her "hot".

I didn't recognize her with her clothes OFF! Let's say they do a WONDERFUL job of making the girls look completely different than they really are. If pictures tell a thousand words, nude mags are completely filled with lies.


I know how I tend to deviate from the subject at hand, but how did we get to this spun yarn on the thread?
Permalink
CheezerAll-Star
439 days ago
Score 1+-
You guys started talking celebrities...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
439 days ago
Score 1+-
Cheezer, this is not a Celebrity Gossip site, this is a Sports Site!!! =) I met Jaleel White once... (I have a ton of pointless jibberish/name dropping but I try to dose it out in small amounts, like sugar packets of uselessness.)
Permalink
The PipDiv-I Stud
437 days ago
Score 0+-
So it's ok to sidetrack an article about celebrities but when celebrities are involved in athletics the article gets ignore. DOUBLE STANDARD! My DWTS article is twice as good and content loaded as this with 90% less grannydykes.


so there.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
437 days ago
Score 0+-
Ooohh kayyyeee... say what?
Permalink
AmphibiousSportsDuoVarsity
437 days ago
Score 1+-
But have you met Cousin Balkie from Perfect Strangers?
Permalink
The PipDiv-I Stud
437 days ago
Score 0+-
Apparently over the last 48 hours I have forgotten how to speak english. My apologies.
Permalink
Anonymous Fanatic #1
440 days ago
Score -2+-
gay
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
439 days ago
Score 2+-
Way to come out! Be proud, not ashamed. I happen to be a guy who likes women - thus the story about women - but your choice is your choice...
Permalink
SyonvermaWaterboy
437 days ago
Score -2+-
wow, the olympics rocks, more then the stupid women playing basketball.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
437 days ago
Score 0+-
These same "stupid women" were also the ones who helped "rock" the olympics...
Permalink
SyonvermaWaterboy
427 days ago
Score 0+-
true i guess, but still
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #2
343 days ago
Score 0+-
girls cant play
Permalink
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Categories: Opinions | Opinions by User Manny Stiles | August 28, 2008 | August 2008 | Other Opinions | WNBA Opinions | Phoenix Mercury Opinions | Lisa Leslie Opinions | Candace Parker Opinions | Diana Taurasi Opinions | Becky Hammon Opinions

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