Kornheiser Gets Bought Out…WOO HOO!

I have a plethora of great news peeps! Well, for starters, I’m back…The friendly skies treated me oh so friendly! Though I must say, that damn five hour flight, I could’ve done without! One would’ve thought with so much time on my hands, I would’ve put the time to good use…Like join the Mile High Club. Anyhow, some other good news I have to offer the select few that read my spits and spats…Tony Kornheiser accepted a buyout! Holy Shit, you know what this means, it means no more weekly fantasy updates in primetime. Oh, but wait, before we all start creaming in our drawers, guess it should be noted that TK accepted a buyout from The Washington Post, not ABC/ESPN…Sorry! I know, I’m just like a pole hugger! Such a tease! Getting peeps hopes up like that. Come to think of it, if TK would’ve gotten Donald Trump from the Monday Night booth, that would be a fantasy come true!

Now let’s get this straight here…He accepted a buyout from The Post since he essentially stopped writing full length columns for them long ago due to his celebrity status in television and radio these days and more along the lines of "columnettes," until doing his best David Copperfield act all together and disappearing from The Post pages. Good business move for The Post I suppose…Just, is it me, I can’t help but think, like him or not, the man has a knack for writing, as evident for his being employed at The Post since 1979. With that being said however, when it comes to television, his spits & spats make viewers want to spit & spat…All the while doing our best new born baby impression! Um yeah, does the phrase, "Stop…You’re making my ears bleed," mean anything? I’m just wondering how many people watch the Monday Night telecasts with their damn boob tube on mute, just because of this cat?

Don’t get me wrong…He’s a perfect compliment to Mike Wilbon on Pardon The Interruption. Though he has the ability to draw on his journalistic abilities. And the same goes for radio as well…However, these days everybody has their own radio show. Just like every sports fan these days has his or her own blog., so whatever that’s worth. Still, the same thing applies…Again, he has the ability to draw on his journalistic abilities. Both are good forums for his funny, sarcastic and sometimes poignant personality in the Sports and Style which was a staple of his columns which appeared in The Post for almost 30 years.

"It feels odd and it feels bad. It doesn't feel sad, there's no sadness to it, it just feels wrong," TK explained to radio listeners. I have to totally disagree…What feels wrong is that you’re still in the freaking Monday Night booth! Now that, that’s wrong! Actually, I’ll do you one better…It’s a TRAVISHAMOCKERY, bud! After two years of your boring, old, sorry ass in the booth, (soon to be year three) one would’ve thought you would’ve been axed! For our sake can you just do your best Joe Namath impression and give Suzy Kolber a hug for God sakes!

Think about this…Something Kornhead is known for and does well, he accepts a buyout, but something that he completely blows goats at is being in a broadcast booth, well ESPN still wants him. Yeah, there’s logic…Consider the employer, I guess, right? Still, what’s going to happen when the ESPN asshole brass pulls their head out of their asses and comes to the realization that TK is nothing more than a sports version of Dennis Miller? Like we all have known from day one…And he gets the Joe Theismann-like treatment. Does he try to get his old job back? Executive editor Len Downie said Kornheiser will retain a desk in the Post's offices and will continue to appear on the Web site. Of course he will…And then when the ESPN ax lands on his head, he’ll be welcomed back with open arms!

Here’s a thought…Why not just can his ass from the Monday Night booth ASAP? Everybody knows it’s bound to happen…So why not just cut all the happy horseshit out! Yes, it might feel odd and bad getting bought out once because you’re a rookie at it, but the second time around when ESPN peeps decide to do it…Well, you’ll be a seasoned vet!