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How Drugs Can Help One Get Out of Prison…The Michael Vick Phenomenon
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What’s up bitches? I’m back! However, before I begin I’d first like to send a shout out to Dr. Phil for being so worried about my well being that he personally escorted me from that holiday season foxhole I’d crawled into which I was just about to inject myself with a shithouse full of Vitamin B-12 shots to get through the hustle and bustle of bowl season to my lovely Dell Dimension computer, (the Dimension 2400 model) with the 17-inch monitor!! Thank you Phil Daddy…I can honestly say I’m back to my old self because of that cat!
Perhaps Big Phil’s next escorting service priority could be to escort Michael Vick to his "Drug Rehabilitation – Special Program"…And my friends there you have our awesome judicial system! While MV7 is still public enemy number one when it comes to the "free world", for cats, (notice I didn’t say dogs) who are incarcerated and are on lock down in lovely penitentiaries across the country, well they just love the guy! My guess is in more ways than one, but hey that’s just a guess! For he’s showing his mates how to look for loop holes in their respective "pen contract" that each prisoner signs…God, how Drew Rosenhaus must be so proud!
Wow…This is one hell of a good program! Allowing inmates to wipe off up to a year of their sentence if they complete the drug treatment program. So let this be a lesson out there to all current inmates or those who are kicking the idea around of becoming one…How to beat the system, just admit you have a drug problem and agree to a treatment program and your 20 to life will become a mere 10 years! One hell of a trade off! Why I can just see the line forming now to sign up for the lucrative deal…With potential bonuses! Your serial killers, your rapists, the screwballs who have rap sheets longer than the brand new roll of Angel Soft I just put in my pottyroom! Even if you don’t, hell act like it! In the words of Don King, "Only in America"!
Only in America can some shit for brains kill, rape, or whatever else have you, but if you have a drug problem and want to get treatment for it while in prison…Well by all means go ahead and then the sentence somehow gets cut in half. Just a thought here, but why wouldn’t you want to sign up for this "Special Program"? I mean, it’s not like Vick or anybody sporting the color orange has anything better to do!
Although, how awesome is this? Being a drug addict can actually help your sorry ass! HUH?? Are you f-ing serious! What is this…The newest version on Monopoly? We suddenly have a new version of "Get Out of Jail Free Card" I wonder if Rae Carruth has tried playing this new version yet? Who gives a shit how this affects Vicks NFL career if there still is any? Roger Goodell will have to end his indefinite suspension, he'll likely have to pass frequent drug tests, and probably most importantly, he'll have to find a team willing to have a dog killer/ "recovering drug addict" on their roster, with all the bad publicity that will come with it. So good luck with that future Mike, but getting his prison sentence reduced for in essence what is "A dog, (oops, my bad on the pun) ate my homework" judicial clause is mind boggling! Not just in terms of Vick’s case, but everybodys! Only down side…And surprisingly there is one! The only place for this "Special Program" is at the Leavenworth, Kan., federal penitentiary. I’m guessing home of the "Betty Buttaface Beauty Pageant"…Right across the street from Muffy’s Smorgasbord! Which should be noted is open 24 hours…You know, in case the "wee hour morning munchies" set in! All I can say is, there goes that early 90’s drug campaign! You know the whole, "this is your brain and this is your brain on drugs…Any questions"? To everybody’s reply we say can we get some bacon with that. However, we should’ve been saying, "can I get out of jail with that!!??!!"
For more on this ludcriousness check out SPORTSbyBROOKS. And while you’re there, might I suggest to check out their SPORTSbyBROOKS ladies …Guaranteed to enhance the love for the female body…Minus the Big Momma figure!! Unless you’re a Pickle Pirate of course!
Just let this be a lesson…DO DRUGS!! It’s your best move!!
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