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Gross Man or Orton…Not Just a Quarterback Dilemma in Chi-Town!
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So the Chicago Bears had their mini-camp this past week and surprising for just hanging out in Pop Warner jerseys and wearing sandals doing drills that football players should know better than they know Rosie and her five beautiful sisters, the news coming out of the Chicagoland area was all a buzz…And for good reason of course since the Bears have had a plethora of questions to face during the off-season. And word has it Cedric Benson is already organizing "A Love Boat Bash" for the team on their by week…But Bears fans, don’t be alarmed, Benson will stay clear of any wrong doing! Shit, somebody has to be the skipper! Although if there’s police presence, well, all bets are thrown overboard!
Getting back to what goes on, on the field as opposed to off…There was a Brian Urlacher siting this weekend. Yes, he did in fact come out of hibernation to sport the ever popular jersey/sandals look. Surprising…Indeed it was considering the fact that what we’ve been hearing coming out of Urlacher’s piehole the whole off-season was he had no plans of showing up. Well, there goes that theory…Definitely been hanging out with Lance Briggs too much and going to his school of "Blowing Hot Air with Absolutely No Meaning Behind it", Mr. I’m not suiting up for the Bears again in Briggs!
Though I hardly ever side with an athlete when they still have a contract to fulfill but want to re-up for more jack, however in Urlacher’s case, he is the Bears…He’s the face of that franchise. For years this franchise has been known around the league for being Penny Pinchers and not rewarding peeps who outplay their contract. Not only is 54 the face of the franchise, but at his position he’s likely one of the top three players league wide. If the Bears don’t decide to pay the piper, the message that their sending to everybody else on the team is, "Look, we don’t give a shit who you are…We aren’t shelling out the beans for your ass!" Not a great message to be sending considering Tommie Harris and oh yeah, some dude name Devin Hester are up!
So the Bears don’t anti-up for their big name players, but they’ll sure as hell anti-up again with a quarterback who arguably had the second worst performance in the 41 years of the Super Bowl…Thank God for Tony Eason! Holy Shit…Did I just say that? Coming into this season some might say Wrecks Grossman has a chip on his shoulder. Um, I’d say it’s just a little more than a chip…How about saying his whole professional football career is on his back? Then again, we all thought this same shit last year, thinking his days in Chicago were numbered, but looksy who’s back! OMG! You can’t be f******* serious! When will the fu****** Bears cut the umbilical cord on this one! Ever cats don’t have this many lives now, come on!
Okay, I get it, I get it! In fact we all get it…He was a high draft pick, and so was Curtis Penis, Rashaad Salaam and oh yeah, Cedric Benson. Now if Wrecks was somehow an old girlfriend that you just can’t cut the ties with because she makes you climb walls every time it’s time to do some bed exercises, then, well, we could see that! Hell, we’ve all been there! But every time this jagoff steps onto the field he always seems to throw, (pardon the pun) his defense under the bus. And enough with he played in the Super Bowl, (and, please see Tony Eason regarding that too) yeah, and Trent Dilfer won one too!
So how did Wrecks-n-Effects do in shorts and his flips-flops this weekend? Shortly after Grossman threw interceptions to Alex Brown and Hunter Hillenmeyer on the same series of plays. "You never want to see interceptions, but we're installing the offense and they're installing the defense," quarterbacks coach Pep Hamilton noted. "It's not like we're game-planning our defense, although our defense is pretty good. Exactly my point…This is nothing more than a little more organized than tailgate football where we tell our boys to run "An Out" at the white Chevy Tahoe…Or a "Comeback Route" to the front of the H2. I mean my God!
It’s not like Duey did any better than Luey…As for Orton, well all he did was get picked himself by again Hillenmeyer and Jamar Williams on consecutive plays. Awesome…Simply F****** Fantastic! Hey, has anybody seen Devin Hester, AKA Huey around…Perhaps he should get some reps, definitely won’t hurt!
"[I'm] striving to prove myself in this league and get myself over that hump to become a great quarterback consistently," Grossman said at the conclusion of Saturday's mini-camp. "There's a lot in front of me, but I feel like I can handle everything that's thrown at me." That’s Jim Dandy, Wrecks…Just one thing, in order to be a great quarterback, well, you have to be a good one first! Something that on a weekly basis you prove that you’re not!
So with this, I’ll leave you with a couple of words…"Go Cubbies!"
