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Don’t Look for Minnesota Golden Gopher Gear at the Local Victoria Secrets
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My goodness, what a weekend. And by that I mean what a boring ass weekend! Sure we had the Subway and Windy City series this weekend, which sort of got the blood pumping, but I just have one question. For the love of God, when does football season start up? Okay, it’s a redundant question since I’m asking it every three days or so, I know…But come on, me want football! Me hate the dog days of summer! Nevertheless, despite me going through pigskin withdrawals, doing my best impression of John Daly on a golf course when it’s 95 freaking degrees and I’m shaking like it’s 32 degrees out…I enjoyed my weekend to the fullest!
Well how can that be, right? I know, I know…But with so much time on my sticky fingers I decided to take a trip, (alone I might add) down to the local mall and check out Victoria Secrets! Not because I wanted to pick up something for the ball and chain, (I don’t have one, WooHoo) but I figured this would be a different way to get all fired up about the college football season, (easy boy on getting all fired up) by viewing their PINK Collegiate Collection. Of course, I could’ve just gone on their website, finding the same section…A list of 33 colleges who have licensed apparel available, but how fun would that be? That’s on the same level as watching games on the boob tube rather than being there in person if one had the choice to be. Honestly though fellas, why didn’t we ever think of doing something like this? Is there anything hotter than seeing the ole battle ax donning an UGA, (we’ll miss ya, RIP boy) as she struts her stuff? I guess that would depend on what her stuff looks like, and I’m going to leave that alone!
Although, I must be totally honest…My trip to VS was less than satisfying. WOW…Victoria's Secrets, a place where you can buy…Well, you probably already know and it did nothing for me. YIKES! I have a theory about that and it all has to do with the PINK Collegiate Collection. Um, can you say false advertising? Gee, go figure…Not like they don’t always do that! Making us believe the same shit their models wear is going to look as good on our ball and chain. Um news flash, No Way Jose!
Among the list of 33 is the University of Minnesota. However, someone at the school has apparently decided that it's not a good place for Gopher gear to be sold. My guess is they want to be like Notre Dame football…Only in the lingerie world and go exclusively with Fredricks of Hollywood. A nice choice I might add. What’s up with this shit? "We are not making a judgment in regards to Victoria's Secret," said University spokesman Dan Wolter. "We just don't feel it is in our institution's best interest right now."
Wolter said there was not enough discussion about how the company's image could affect the University's reputation and that upon review, "it was simply determined we should opt out of it."
Huh…What? "How the company's image could affect the University's reputation"…What kind of dog ate my homework reason is that? I don’t have exact numbers, but something tells me Victoria Secrets just might be popular with the co-eds! So it looks like, according to University spokesman Shit For Brains, according to his logic, looks like the University of Minnesota will soon become an all male institution seeing as since UM, (sorry Michigan) doesn’t want this association. We’re simply talking about some apparel wear here…Not talking about changing the university code and conduct laws, (which nobody abides by anyway)!
To my dismay, and most likely others…It's not like we're talking about Gopher lingerie. DAMN! The PINK has a shirt, sweats, a hoody, and a tote bag (read: purse) available. Perhaps the university was offended by the prices. The tote bag alone runs $24.50. Yikes. So it’s a glorified Steve & Barry’s…So what’s the beef spokesman Shithead? The school has got it’s panties in a bunch over shirts, sweats, and a purse…Yeah, very explicit shit, I know! What’s next? No cheering at football games? Oh wait, sorry, that happens already…Forgot which school I was referring to! So the University of Central Florida bans tailgating to fans who don’t actually plan on going in the stadium and now the University of Minnesota doesn’t want to be associated with Victoria Secrets. What’s next?
Oh, but wait…Speaking of UCF and their new tailgating bylaws, this too has a dirty twist to it, so to speak. Check out the women's tank top that the university sells in their online store, Goldy's Locker Room, shows more skin than anything Victoria's Secrets is selling with Goldy Gopher on it. So just as in UCF’s case, Minnesota wants women, (or confused men) wants fans to buy their products, where they get 100 percent of the profits, as opposed to an outside party. Really it’s simple…Just another case of schools wanting more money! Just can’t wait to season the next level this ridiculousness rises to!
