Catching up on your Z’s: 10 ways to pick an NFL sleeper team

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Every year at least one team that sucked the year prior turns it around and becomes a contender. Every year. Just as consistent is that the sleeper teams that most of the experts pick turn out to take the term too literally and finish the season as if they had been sleeping during all of their practices.

The trap most people fall into when picking their sleeper teams is that they aim too low and expect a horrendous team to suddenly be fantastic through a couple of signings and the draft. While this could happen... technically, it is highly unlikely.

Do you want to impress your friends and colleagues by successfully predicting the breakout team of 2008? Most likely your friends will laugh and make fun of you if you try and bring up your August predictions in January when they come to fruition, but forget them. Just make a blog, cause attention to your predictions and then post incriminating photos of the aforementioned friends alongside it.

Without further ado, here is 10 things to take into account when picking your NFL sleeper team, assuming you have some type of reason to do so. If not, just print this out and read it in the bathroom. It’s quick, it’s fun and it makes for a very riveting read.

1.)

Absolutely do not put any stake into who ESPN picks as their sleeper team. Unless you think the Cardinals and 49ers have had good seasons these past two years.

2.)

Go back and read number one again. No, seriously.

3.)

Do not shoot for the trees. A la, don’t pick Miami this year no matter how good you’ll think they’ll be. If they turn out a winner, great, but they likely won’t and it will make you look like a dumb ass.

4.)

Absolutely, positively do not put money on your sleeper team having a successful season. It just makes it that much worse than they lose. You officially go from that “idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about” to that “idiot who thinks he knows about sports and probably has some type of gambling problem.”

5.)

Aim for the teams who are on the precipice of actually becoming good. Think: The Minnesota Vikings, Carolina Panthers and so on and so forth… and no, the Dallas Cowboys do not qualify as a sleeper team. No team who will likely lose less than six games can be considered a sleeper. Unless you're just an asshole.

6.)

If everyone else has them as a sleeper, they are no longer a sleeper team. They officially become a “snorer” team. Yes, I realize that’s not very funny but hey, at least I try.

7.)

Just because you're good with them in Madden doesn’t mean that translates into real life. Your mad ill skills with the sticks only applies to the virtual world, where you can actually be good at something.

8.)

Go with your gut. No, this is not mindless filler to flesh out the list, I’m serious! This would only hold true if your gut is usually right. If you're that guy who bets three team parlays on the Raiders, Rams and Chiefs -- just completely disregard this whole entire number.

9.)

It is acceptable to cheat on your favorite team and buy jerseys and things of your sleeper team. Be forewarned however: Do not do this until a bit into the season when you know you picked a winner. How would you have felt wearing an Alex Smith jersey in November last year?

10.)

Do not take your prediction too seriously, because the odds are, you’re going to be wrong and the less people that know about it the better.

So there you have it, rules to live by. If you have any others, and I know you will, feel free to leave them in the comments.

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