armchairgm
all sports, all you
+ Add Friends
You are not logged-in.
Sign Up - Log In
Main Page
Sports
Write
Articles
Hot Links
Images
Meet People
Fun
Explore
MLB - NFL - NBA - NHL - College Basketball - College Football - Soccer - Nascar - Other
Article - Locker Room Discussion
All Articles - New Articles - Today's Articles
Submit a Link - Approve Links
Picture Game - Ratings - Polls - Pick Game - Quiz Game - Spring Silliness
Random Page - Random Image - Random Fan

About the Author

Afraidofedhochuli
Voted 2007 ArmchairGM User's choice for "Best NFL Coverage"

http://www.afraidofedhochuli.com

Because thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die...I'll pass away... - George Carlin

More By Afraidofedhochuli

The State of Seattle
15 votes, 8 comments
Matt's A-Z of Funny Sports Names: NCAA Edition
13 votes, 3 comments
Top 13: Ways to get your friends to watch sports
19 votes, 10 comments
View All

Other recent voters

If you like the article, vote for it.
Edit
Page history Discuss pageWhat links here

Athletes Are Just Like Us: Jose Canseco Edition

by Afraidofedhochuli
created April 15, 2008, last edited September 20, 2008
5
Vote

When processing which "athlete" to do for these installments, it is important to reach deep into your bag and review each of the options you have. Who is big right now? Who is in the news? Who makes you roll your eyes with their absolute and utter stupidity?

 

Today: Jose Canseco

Jose loves a good "mass-marketed" cooking machine.

This is something that baseball players around the country do, though.

He made a mistake in the Outfield when a ball bounced off his head over the fence for a Home Run.

We shouldn't make fun of him though, because a lot of athletes make mistakes.

His ex-wife was a body builder who liked to make her body the best she could.

Which this beautiful lady agrees with.

He used to have a great mustache.

Which 14-year old boys around the country idolized.

When on the field he is best know for his bat.

While this guy is best known for someone else's bat.

He tried to make a comeback in the Minors by becoming a pitcher.

Unfortunately, she threw better then he did.

His style is unimaginably trendy.

Trendy is this man's middle name.

He is very patriotic.

Which, I respect.

Look at those amazing muscles.

Those muscles led to these.

Canseco has made some mistakes in his personal life.

But who can say they don't have an interesting mug shot?

He and his brother got in some trouble with the law as well.

But, come on, who hasn't gotten into something bad with a sibling?

His book was filled with juicy gossip that "ratted" out his friends.

This guy "ratted" out his "friends" as well.


No closing...just remember Jose, there are a lot of guys you have wronged who own piano wire...


From: Afraidofedhochuli


For More:

Athletes Are Just Like Us: HOF Edition - Dick Vitale

Athletes Are Just Like Us: David Beckham Edition

Athletes Are Just Like Us: Tiger Woods Edition

Athletes Are Just Like Us: T.O. Edition

Athletes Are Just Like Us: A-Rod Edition

Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
TheSportsAppleAll-American
597 days ago
Score 2+-
I'm just happy that that fat guy beat anorexia.
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 2+-
it's a terrible disease
Permalink
Steel TownDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 2+-
that's the second time today I have seen the "I Love Midget Porn" mugshot.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
597 days ago
Score 3+-
Was the other time in the mirror?
Permalink
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 1+-
scrap-booking?
Permalink
Steel TownDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 1+-
Ba da bum...
Permalink
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 2+-
you had to know those were coming...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
597 days ago
Score 1+-
Jose Canseco is unlike the "rest of us" in one respect:


He purposely and cockily shoulderbumped into a tall, skinny 15 year old kid that was attempting to take his picture at a 1988 baseball card convention as he walked by. The kid took the shoulder, didn't fall down and laughed in disbelief that a clearly coked-up MVP (with then-wife Esther and brother Ozzie closely behind who would attempt to apologize on Jose's behalf) would attempt such a maneuver on a minor.

BTW - He was the LAST person to try that on me!
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 1+-
or the last one to walk away?
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
597 days ago
Score 1+-
No. Just the last to try. I filled in quite well a couple years later.


I don't think he liked a punk kid being taller than him. He was fresh off of being crowned "Mr. 40-40 MVP", afterall... and I might have said something like "Go Dodgers!" or not...


I wish I knew what happened to the picture because he was clearly "railed" on the snorty snort...


That was also the day I learned how much of an asshole Stan Musial is... Although Ozzie Canseco was actually kind of cool...
Permalink
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
597 days ago
Score 1+-
permalink that...no one will ever utter this statement again: "Ozzie Canseco was actually kind of cool"
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
597 days ago
Score 1+-
It was relative to his surroundings. He was the taint between Jose the asshole and Stan the dick that day!


If you need to do all the math, Esther was the testicles.... Esthercles!!!
Permalink
Add your Comment
ArmchairGM welcomes all comments. If you don't want to be anonymous, Register or Login. It's free
Categories: Opinions | Opinions by User Afraidofedhochuli | April 15, 2008 | April 2008 | Athletes Are Just Like Us Opinions | Jose Canseco Opinions

Don't Miss

Phillies World Series 2009: A Year Later, and They Still Don't Want Us
Sorry, But I'm Not Sorry
2009 NHL Preview
In Which Ricketts Wins World Series
2009 Week 3: Let’s Talk About Your Favorite NFL Team

In the News

It's official, Seahawks GM Tim Ruskell has resigned.

Play the Picture Game

Most Pumped Up Player

New Articles

The 1976 Cincinnati Reds: One of Baseball's Greatest Teams
Thai Circle Takraw
Boat racing (Kaeng Ruer)
Kraabi Krabong! thai sport
Week 13: Bobby Bowden's Last Play

Retrieved from "http://armchairgm.wikia.com/Article:Athletes_Are_Just_Like_Us:_Jose_Canseco_Edition"

This page was last modified 19:40, 15 April 2008. Content is available under the GFDL.

Main Page About Special Pages Help Terms of Use Advertise