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LastRow

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Are You Suffering from Summertime Sports Depression?

by LastRow
created June 25, 2008, last edited February 10, 2009
11
Vote

 

So here it is the end of June, the NBA Finals are over, same goes for the Stanley Cup coverage, Tiger Woods knee surgery coverage has been exhausted…All that’s left is baseball to hold us over for a month until NFL teams begin to pitch their tents as camps open up. Although this is the time that media creates and makes news out of shit that really isn’t news at all and beats it like a dead horse. Speaking of which, so what if Big Brown forgot to tie his shoelaces or had a freaking pebble in his shoe! Yeah, we’ve all been there and done that…Doesn’t feel too good, but oh well, tough shit! Again, lets beat that story to death!

Hey, here’s a news flash…Shaq doesn’t like Kobe! Although, I’m not sure if the Big Fat Ass is on the same page as us? Yes, Shaq’s spit on the mic was newsworthy for I guess about 15 mins, but truth is, it has become a new catch phrase…Everybody want’s to know how peeps asses taste! And just wait, this media catch phrase creation will be showing up on t-shirts over on eBay ASAP…If they haven’t done so already? Gotta strike when the iron’s hot, I know!

And can we lay off Don Imus…I mean, my God! It’s not like everybody hasn’t had that same thought that he decided to spit on his mic a time or two…Come on! We all know that we’ve had that exact same thought, it’s just he decided to put his stones on the table and say what everybody has thought! And if you try to tell yourself that that particular thought hasn’t entered your head, well just maybe Pacman, (oh excuse me, Adam) will pray for your lying ass too!

It’s funny, Shaq can spit the shit he did and dumbasses think it’s funny, but when Imus spits into his mic, it’s like "Oh Hell No!" "No, he didn’t!" Whatever the case may be, the reality is that we’ll have to listen to both of these stories and the fall out from them for what I’m going to guess is sometime until next week…Since this time of year, the Dog Days of Summer are equivalent to the "Dead Period" for recruiting. Yes Kelvin Sampson, this means your ass too…Put the secret phone down and wash off those texting fingers!

I got a question. How many days until the pigskins start flying again? Oh shit, wait, I posed that question about 10 days or so ago…So I’m guessing we have about 10 or so days less from when I first asked the question, huh? I’ll go out on a limb here and say, we want our football more than we want a Playboy Playmate in bed, (of course depending on the month).

So I like so many who have been diagnosed before me am suffering from Summertime Sports Depression…The outbreak of this disease usually occurs around mid-June and can last up until mid-July. Although I’ve taken it upon myself to help find a cure for this summertime outbreak…And honestly, I believe I’m on the right track of doing so!

It’s starts by trying to get all the juices flowing again in the body, minus a certain lovely lady dubbed Candy who just took off her candy striper for you. Might I suggest running through a brick wall. And let me tell you, if this doesn’t get the juices flowing and want to make you run through a freaking brick wall, well, you need to check yourself as a sports fan!

[1]

Now, lets see if your ass is breathing…

[2]

Couldn’t have said it better myself…

In the words of Judge Mills Lane…Can we just get it on already!

Cast a vote in the newest LastRowSports.com Pick’em Poll which asks if you "Need Nine Innings Which Aching Arm" would you want on the mound?


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
WizardmanRed-Shirting
503 days ago
Score 2+-
I'm a fan of the Indians. So we all know my answer to the question this article poses.
Permalink | Reply
LastRowAll-American
503 days ago
Score 1+-
Actually I don't know why I want football to start up? I'm a Bears and Notre Dame fan...All football season is going to do is cost me money as I cave in all my LCD's!
Permalink
CrackajgDraft Pick
503 days ago
Score 1+-
Even though the Celtics just won the title, I am a bit depressed that football is still a ways away. Does that make me a horrible person?
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
503 days ago
Score 1+-
yup, just a couple months until the next 18-1 season begins!
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
503 days ago
Score 1+-
That's right Manny, we'll lose once during the regular season, and go on to win the Super Bowl...
Permalink
LastRowAll-American
503 days ago
Score 0+-
Aww, still have the Super Bowl hang over i see
Permalink
LastRowAll-American
503 days ago
Score 0+-
D21...Betcha Jim kelly said those same words too. How dat work out?
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
503 days ago
Score 1+-
Ask Jim what it's like to have already won 3 rings. Oh, wait...
Permalink
Cobras36Red-Shirting
503 days ago
Score 0+-
Football is a ways away? There are 4 live playoff games on between tomorrow and Monday night.
Permalink | Reply
CrackajgDraft Pick
503 days ago
Score 0+-
I'm talking actual football.
Permalink
CrackajgDraft Pick
503 days ago
Score 0+-
I tried to like the AFL but couldn't get over the ridiculous rule when the receiver runs behind the line of scrimmage before the play. I just couldn't take it seriously with that happening all the time.
Permalink
Cobras36Red-Shirting
502 days ago
Score 0+-
Ridiculous? It's an excellent counter to DBs cheating all the time by getting over-zealous in their attempt to hold the receiver at the line, usually by grabbing onto the guy. It's hard to take the NFL seriously, 42.3ppg combined by both teams. Boring 17-14 offensive ineptitude celebrations of mediocrity aren't all that entertaining.
Permalink
CrackajgDraft Pick
501 days ago
Score 0+-
Sorry, but real football teams feature both an offense and a defense.
Permalink
SSreportersLegend
503 days ago
Score 0+-
The CFL season starts tonight! Lions to the Cup!
Permalink | Reply
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Categories: Opinions | Opinions by User LastRow | June 25, 2008 | June 2008 | Football Opinions

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