About the Author
Please stop harassing Anons and save yourself the trouble of thinking I'm one of them. This site sucks because of the few self-righteous, bitchy, pubescent dorks who ruin every ounce of other people's creativity and fun with their predetermined agendas of lamery. FP, SSR, Rawb - you guys have entirely strangled this site with your grand tsunami of dull. Jut, you used to be cool... what happened? - mannystiles@aol.comMore By Manny Stiles
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20080624 Manny Stiles' Sportsune Cookie
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Intro:
Welcome to Manny Stiles ' Daily Weekday Column:
"Sportsune Cookie" – Where you can still spell "crap" without "hip hop".
Sportsune Cookie
Rainbows are really circles, but you only see half of them
Lets' compare "Dream Team" to the 2008 Olympic team, because it seems so many people want to illogically make that leap:
For argument's sake (only):
Michael Jordan = Kobe Bryant - for argument's sake it's a "wash"
Larry Bird = LeBron James - again, for argument's sake - a "wash"
Chris Mullin = Michael Redd - both lefties, both shooters, but let's call it "a wash"
John Stockton = Deron Williams - clearly (with some sarcasm) because they are both Jazz players, a "wash"
Karl Malone = Carlos Boozer - see above - "wash"
Magic Johnson = Jason Kidd - the career triple doubles indicate it's a "wash"
Patrick Ewing = Dwight Howard - yeah, that's a clear "wash"
David Robinson = Chris Bosh - duh! "wash"
Scottie Pippen = Tayshaun Prince - both lanky and athletic defenders - any doubt it's a "wash"?
Charles Barkley = Carmelo Anthony - give a little rebounding, take a little scoring... a "wash"
So what's left???
Clyde Drexler and Christian Laettner vs. Chris Paul and Dwyane Wade - Wade and Drexler are similar enough while Paul smokes Laettner...
Therefore...
team USA 2008 is better than the "Dream Team"... no arguments are left to be made (until you consider my "laundry detergent" is actually Grade A Bullshit)
Sorry, optimists and well wishers... Team USA is in TROUBLE.
I'm as patriotic as the next red-blooded, apple pie-loving, Mom-eating American but I'm not a damned fool!!!
Where will the interior defense come from in the wider Olympic lane?
We's in trou - ble!!!
Watch out inferior metals (if that) Here We Come!!!
Pre-emptive Maneuvers
Sometimes I rhyme slow - Shaq's dissing of Kobe was classic freestyle rap at it's finest display.
People who get upset need to say out da way.
What Shaq was saying is called shit talk, it's beautiful and it's tight.
Kobe can't do it without a big man's ass to taste? Well yeah, that's right...
Sometimes I rhyme quick - Stuntin' is a habit, Snoop's doing country
I rhyme quick like a rabbit, y'all don't wanna front on me
I might be so-called "white" but I'm leavin' no doubters
I bust your ass it gets so sweaty, you need anti-monkey butt powder
Even though I live in 116 degrees, I'm gonna walk in the snow
I'm such the best damned whatever-you-wanna-call-me, so just call me snow flake like Chris Rose
Put me on a reality show, yeah "Who wants to be a blogger?"
with the likes of PNatt and T Baggs' Fraud asses to flog and
I'll swat their lame asses like a Serena Williams serve
because I'm a fort-night of quality predicates, nouns and verbs
like Shawn Marion, there's no way I'm opting out
might as well call me Gwen Stefani, because by my bad self is leaving no doubt
the m - a - n to the N.Y.... S - t - i - l - e - s
2 years of AGM, but I'm still a freshman, cause I'm the "man" that's so "fresh"
Freestylin' Buck Wildin' - profilin'
Don't try to imitate the many Manny Stiles, kid
You want some beats down on the tracks? You wants some tracks with the beats now?
Bring the words, clown... Before you gets the beat down
Interjection! Adjectives and adverbs
Yeah, I might be crazy but I got a way with words
Not unlike Don Imus I find my criticizers and attack
"I meant that he was being picked on because he's" a hack
So get Stephen A up in this joint to say "it's ok"
This is a freestyle rap, I bust the stupid asses like the sun busts out new days
word.
Yeah, it's a shortbread 'Cookie today - sometimes, there's not much in sports that inspires me! Only sometimes.
I don't care what you say - To me... Serena Williams is "definitely hot". I've had this conversation with my wife and she understands where I'm coming from. Serena is ALL woman. She's a total badass at her game (that's ALWAYS a turn-on). And she has an air about her that would make me feel safe and secure in her strong yet caring arms... I can't imagine her NOT being an absolute beast in the sack - maybe I'm a jerk or sexist for saying this; but it's just an observation - that chick was made specifically to break penises.
And I'm just "cocky" enough to think she couldn't quite break mine...
Venus is "hot" in a different way - as in "I think her name is sexy"... and she's got a "hot" sister... but that's about it!
OK, I'll stop now.
My latest NBA Draft conclusion - Eric Gordon will be better than expected. Just a hunch - don't ask me to rationalize that thought...
ESPN - Don't Forget We're Innocent - I LOVED ESPN's scrolling news alert that said "Don Imus is an asshole - in case you forgot, he's NOT affiliated with ESPN, ESPN radio or any of ESPN's other half-assed ventures"
Namedropper
Seth Joyner is a hell of a dude to share adult drinks with when you're the only person who recognizes him while the rest of the people at the club are dorky snobs afraid of the two biggest dudes in the joint.
Side note: He appreciates knowing that he was very much appreciated as a player while also being reminded that you don't think he's that old (even though you were still in high school when he started playing)
Kids make the BEST sports fans
Quote from my son today:
"I'm not a boy. I'm tough!!!" - Perhaps he's taking this "hockey" obsession a tad too far?
From the daughter, Pookie - "Did the Suns win today?"
me: "They didn't play today, honey. They're off for the summer."
Pook: "What are the Suns doing at their houses?'
me: "Doing what their Mommies and Daddies tell them to do"
Pook: "...that's why I like the Suns. They're good for listening to their Mommies and Daddies"
me (thinking to myself) - We need to get you a contract....
Post-Emptive Maneuvers
A comparison between the 1996 Olympic team and 2008 Olympic team might be more fair, but I'm kinda lazy tonight. So there...
Media Rant
Just because I think I can do it better doesn't mean I can't.
But Chris Rose is definitely better at "it" than I ever could be...
Ever wonder?
If you were always right, what would be left?
WTMF Sports
Channel Manny Presents:
W.T.M.F. Sports with your host, Manny Stiles!
Brought to you by Unnamable Whatchamathingies
"When you need a 'you know' or a 'what's it called', get one of those things from the doohickey to do the stuff and other vgue matters of concern for you!"
Reporting on Tuesday, June 24th... Manny Stiles:
MS - Some people think 'WTMF' stands for "Where the Manatees Flock" without realizing that's only zero-fifths correct... but first, our top story" -
When you're looking for more excitement in your life than just an ordinary whipped cream fight or cockroach race, you gotta know where to turn!
The Adventures of ManRays
Today's "Ray of the Day" is...
Day Off.
This is the time of year when days off start to MEAN something...
Bring on those stinky fish that aren't related to sharks like Rays are...
Rays at Marlins - the Sunshine State Series continues!!!
Go Rays!
20
No one figured out yesterday's "10", so I'll add 10 more famous sports related characters to the list from yesterday - now it's 20!!
11 – Serena Williams
12 - Jason Williams
13 - Emmitt Smith
14 - Jennie Finch
15 - Jeremy Wariner
16 - David Beckham
17 - Andre Agassi
18 - Maria Sharapova
19 - Manny Stiles
20 – Ed Bradley
We all have the same thing(s) in common!!! What the hell is it?
A Picture is worth 1000 "hype, hype Hoorays"!!!
The face that was gonna change the game... (what a "face" it was)
Also the first time baseball scouts outsmarted the demands of a delerious agent's hopes and demands! Todd Van Poppel went form "sure thing #1 pick" to "eh, we don't really want to pay you THAT much" to "Damn, you suck" in less than three years flat!
A guy who went from a projected #1 to the 14th pick overall had a career 5.58 ERA... and it wasn't like the 1990 draft was deep, either... Chipper Jones, Tony Clark, Mike Lieberthal, Alex Fernandez and Kurt Miller were the top five picks.
Only Carl Everett, Jeromy Burnitz, Mike Mussina and Rondell White were the only other first rounders that made ANY impact in the bigs... (that includes you, Todd Ritchie...
Todd Van Poppel sure did a hell of a job at sucking, though.
Dr. Commento Answers the Questions
ATQ – Yesterday's 10 was athletes that.... No one guessed it correctly! So I'll add 10 more to help you all out!!! keep in mind, the first 10 share the same "thing or things" in common with the first 10.
Damn, LASB!!! You are the though provokingest reader of the 'cookie as of late -
e-mail me your address and Wifey will make you a special batch of her "special" cookies to send to you! =)
Anyway - "UEFA vs. US - It would be a perfect comparison if you are talking USA basketball, and that way the situations would also be similar. While we in the US and a percentage of Euros and ex-pats would be interested in Indiana vs. New York in basketball - the majority of Europe wouldn't care"
Me thinks a USA round robin B-Ball tourney NEEDS to happen!!! How do we get this thing organized?? My bet is still on your home state of Cali...BTW.
More people = bigger talent pool
But WATCH OUT for those sneaky South Dakotans!!!
Strike a Prose
Another Manny Stiles' song!!!
"Falling Rocks"
Immature Ramblings, grumblings
on and on nonsense as I attempt
to make sense of another useless circumstance
Why do I care if there's something to care about
when it all goes 'round about something
I don't give an honest shit about
all it does is make me think until
I can't think of nothing else
all this nothing and now I need to shit
watch out for falling rocks
The question is this...
how do I fix it? Something that's
not running; but born to be broken
and they say I'm running
and they tell me I don't know what
I'm getting into...
Why is everyone SO determined to
undermine your confidence when you know
You cannot be shaken but anyone but "me"???
My obstinence will never be
utter abstinence of the unknown
I need to know!
especially when I think I do
Watch out for falling rocks
Victory shall be mine
and no one will be there to share it
as I climb this mountain called 'Life'
and watch those who 'think' they
are my foothold turn into falling rocks
I don't intend it
they were falling rocks all along
Watch out for falling rocks!
I say, how many days?
How many ways can this be stranger?
When the danger lies
in me being crushed by falling rocks?
"the clock it passes,
each second amasses"
my foundation has found this nation
to be just crack and crocks
Snatch that buck before
they come looking for ya
saying they're "down"
now they're hiding in your town
It would make me sad
but why should it be any different?
They're only there when you're
climbing up the mountain
Trying to get a piece for their very own purpose
but the worst is...
if you start to slip around
the same "rocks" that said they "lifted you up"
try to bury you in the ground....
For what???
Watch out for falling rocks.
Watch out for falling rocks!!!
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