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Afraidofedhochuli
Voted 2007 ArmchairGM User's choice for "Best NFL Coverage"

http://www.afraidofedhochuli.com

Because thanks to our fear of death in this country, I won't have to die...I'll pass away... - George Carlin

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''Because - thanks to our fear of death in this country - I won't have to die...I'll pass away...''

by Afraidofedhochuli
created June 23, 2008, last edited February 10, 2009
19
Vote

I know that celebrities are not the people that you should really be terribly sad about; they aren’t your family, they aren’t close to you…but you feel like you know them. You feel like they bare their souls to you when you watch their films, hear their music or watch them on stage. That is why their deaths hit you, even if they shouldn’t.

“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.”

George Carlin “passed away” yesterday of heart failure. That affects me, even if it shouldn’t. He was a pioneer in the comedy industry (an industry I love and respect) who seemed to always have something witty (if not crass) to say about anything you could bring up. Some of his best material were the puns that he would come up with.

"If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?"

Matt, this is a sports blog! You are correct, and while Mr. Carlin didn’t play sports, some of his best material was about it.

"Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: in football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football: Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park! Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet. In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it? Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty. In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick. In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness. Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog... In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch. Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings. Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness. In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!”

My best to his friends and Family. You will be missed, George!

From: Afraidofedhochuli

Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
SSreportersLegend
504 days ago
Score 1+-
Spectacular job AOEH....very good article as always.


I was just about to mention this, I know he had drinking problems and drug issues and had a few heart attacks, but to my parents, he's the greatest comedian ever.


Of course I did listen to some parts of his comedy and I was rolling, the man never finished high school but he was wise and as sharp as a tack.


It's just wild that Russert, McKay, Charlie Jones, Kalitta, and now Carlin have all bought the farm in a matter of 2 weeks. So sad.


We will all miss you George, well, except the government but yeah we will miss you!


[edit] R.I.P George Carlin

Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
504 days ago
Score 0+-
Holy Crap!

I find this out on AGM???


I'm devastated - all seven words of devestated!!! The guy was a pioneer.


I'm taking the rest of the day off to go count oxymorons and redundancies.
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 0+-
yeah...i found out on sports radio. blows me away
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
504 days ago
Score 2+-
Or you can just read the can of worms...
Permalink
Oh No RomoDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 1+-
George Carlin, one of a kind. He will be greatly missed.
Permalink | Reply
CoreyisarealboyMajor Leaguer
504 days ago
Score 1+-
Will be rereading my copy of Napalm and Silly Putty as soon as I find it. R.I.P. George Carlin
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 0+-
great booK!
Permalink
OneflydudeAll-American
504 days ago
Score 0+-
RIP dude... Never really watched him, but my mom did. I've always heard good things about the guy though
Permalink | Reply
CoreyisarealboyMajor Leaguer
504 days ago
Score 2+-
You want a guy who can challenge your preconceived notions about life and the world, George Carlin was that guy. He was way ahead of his time and still a genius.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
504 days ago
Score 1+-
He was a modern day prophet.
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
504 days ago
Score 3+-
I was fortunate enough to see him live, and as much of a fan as I was beforehand, I was much more so afterwards. While he had a standard routine, he was amazing at his ability to ad-lib his way through things. If a joke got more/less of a laugh than he expected, he would go off on a rant for two or three minutes which was often funnier than the joke.

I got to see a couple other big name comics too, you pay big bucks for a ticket and the show is over in an hour. George was on stage for over two, with no intermission.

It was awesome. RIP George, there will never be another one quite like you.
Permalink | Reply
Oh No RomoDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 3+-
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Permalink | Reply
KelsdadAll-Star
504 days ago
Score 1+-
If you have 25 odds and ends on a table and 24 fell off, what would be left, an odd or an end?
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 2+-
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 1+-
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Permalink | Reply
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 1+-
My favorite...EVER: Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
504 days ago
Score 2+-
My favorite: I never banged a 10, but once... I nailed 5 twos.
Permalink
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 1+-
that one is f*cking classic. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Permalink
AfraidofedhochuliDraft Pick
504 days ago
Score 0+-
watch this: http://www.y...=rCz0-HY1TLU
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
504 days ago
Score 0+-
I'll always remember him as the first host of NBC's "Saturday Night"... (before it was called "Live") ...and for being the creator of rollerfucking, of course.
Permalink | Reply
Steel TownDraft Pick
502 days ago
Score 0+-
They are replaying it this weekend.
Permalink
RomiezzoLegend
504 days ago
Score 0+-
RIP George Carlin.

I remember watching the very same video you quoted, AOEH.

Thanks for bringing him up. I'm definitely going to miss him.

My condolences to his family and friends.
Permalink | Reply
CheezerAll-Star
504 days ago
Score 1+-
The video for baseball v. football is here
Permalink | Reply
CheezerAll-Star
504 days ago
Score 1+-
try again
Permalink
FrugolfVarsity Captain
502 days ago
Score 0+-
R.I.P. George, some of my best laughs came from your material.
Permalink | Reply
Denny, AlaskaLittle Leaguer
501 days ago
Score 0+-
A tremendously funny man. I'll always remember his mock newscasts, sitting at a small table on stage on the "Tonight" show. For the sports segment:

"And tonight's baseball scores, 5-2, 6-3, 2-1 and in a real close one, 1-0!"

RIP, George.
Permalink | Reply
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Categories: Opinions | Opinions by User Afraidofedhochuli | June 23, 2008 | June 2008 | George Carlin Opinions | NFL Opinions | MLB Opinions

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