ArmchairGM Member Named in Animal Fighting Allegations
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by Manny Stiles
Phoenix, AZ (Unassociated Press) - As if the 'Chair (or the world for that matter) hasn't had enough of Michael Vick and his disgusting animal cruelty allegations* and muddled legal troubles, another bombshell dropped Tuesday in the All Sports-Wiki Community when a veteran member of ArmchairGM.com was named by Federal Authorities as the leader of an animal fighting and gambling ring.
Maricopa County's Bland Newz Farm and Croquet Club was raided after documents and videos were seized during a year long undercover investigation. Federal officials in central Arizona named Manny "Ekom" Stiles on Tuesday as the Head Financier and CEO, Director of Operations, Lead Event Organizer, Key Grip, Personal Assistant to the Director of Operations, Fighting Ring Designer and Builder, Radio Play-by-play Announcer, Stadium Organist and Roving Sideline Reporter while his Manny Stiles' World's Best Fire-Roasted Salsa was the "official salsa sponsor and supplier" for the fighting events.
When confronted about these allegations, Mr. Stiles angrily responded "That's nothing but (expletive-expletive)! And you know it. I can barely even play the organ!"
When the soulless, bloodsucking reporters pestered Mr. Stiles a tad more about the situation, the Promoted Article and Comment Champion retorted "Look, you (expletive-expletives) have been accusing me of a lot of things - (using writing enhancing drugs, sucking, crossdressing, being a Devil Rays fan, having an oral fixation, prematurely retiring, even dying! But this is ridiculous! This is too far. I have no more to say to you freeking vultures! I'm bouncin'. Peace, I'm out!"
As he saunteringly glided away with a hellafied pimp-lean from the globulous throng of reporters, he added "Now leave me alone, I have to go organize some big animal fights for tonight (cough, cough)... I mean attend several charitible engagements!" Then mumbled very audibly "Dammit! I did it AGAIN!"
And he was off into the night.
Among the charges being considered for prosecution include 'irresponsible usage of a video recording device', 'half-assed editing' and 'blatent double posting about worn out topics'.
Warning: Only Watch the video if you are NOT easily offended
"Political Correctness is for Pussies!" - Manny Stiles, 2007 (That should be a hint to the level of offensiveness)
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