Another Bill Simmons Feud

Dane Cook doing the "october" commercials makes me want to stick an ice pick in my eyes.

correct me if I'm wrong, but Cook is supposedly a comedian right? Why then is Alba playing the slapstick role while he plays the straight role in the movie? I've never heard his comedy, but if this is angle, WHY would I want to?

Oh, and there's a VERY WIDE LINE separating "popular" and "good"

That's why I said "occasionally".

Someone has to play the talent in the movie, and I rather see Alba in her panties than Cook in his draws anyday

So, you can't be a die-hard fan unless you live in the same city as the team and don't pull for any other teams in any other sports at all? I guess I'm not a die-hard Longhorns fan, since I went to college in Hawaii for a year. Doesn't matter that I woke up at 4 AM to watch their games...it was in HAWAII!!! Clearly I'm not a fan. Are you kidding? Look, if you've got a beef with Simmons (and you clearly do), I've got no problem with that. But don't say that a guy's not a die-hard fan just because he ALSO writes about other teams and because he had the audacity to pursue a career. That's just dumb.

I agree. I lived in New England for 6 years (from 78-84) and I still consider that area part of my hometown. I'm still a die-hard Sox, Pats and Celts zombie and living in my 5th or 6th place since leaving New England has never changed that. And that fanbase description just smacks of pettiness. Rise above it, my man.

you're criticizing Simmons for doing more Yankee bashing than red sox lovin or whatever, but if you've ever been around fenway park in mid july when the sox are facing the dodgers and the fans are still chanting yankees suck, maybe you'd understand why he did that.

Did he get lucky? sure but brian cashman also got lucky that his dad new someone with the yankees, what you do from there is up to you.

oh and somehow i don't think if he really wanted a press pass to a devil rays game it would have really been an issue.

Pettiness?

Am I generalizing? Sure. But generalizations are generally true.

There is NO more myopic person than a Boston sports fan. You only know YOUR team, you don't know sports.

You have an inferiority complex for a VERY good reason, Boston sports fan. You are inferior.

A "Nation" of bandwagoners. It was cute when we wanted you to beat the Yankees, and we all cheered for you but now you're annoying. New York is a real town. Boston is a farce.

"New England" is a joke. You all think it's so great, then why do you all leave?

The COUNTY I live in is bigger than Connecticut and Rhode Island combined. Philly has more universities and colleges than Boston (yet all you here is how many great schools there are). 100 square miles in Virginia has more history than all of New England combined (The Boston Tea Party was an act of terrorism). People in Boston can't even speak freeking English. And Samuel Adams beer is WAY overrated.

For a town with a smaller population than El Paso, Memphis, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, Seattle, Charlotte, Houston, San Antonio, San Jose, Phoenix, San Diego, Detroit, Columbus and Baltimore you sure do pop off alot.

Even if you include the people all the way from Connecticut to Maine as the Boston Metropolitan area, it's STILL smaller than Washington, San Fran, Philly, New York, Chicago, LA and Dallas-FT Worth.

Yet, it's all about YOU, isn't it MYOPIAVILLE?

It's shit like this that makes me want to almost consider thinking about doing something against my nature like rooting for the Yankees!

If Philly's so great, why'd YOU leave?

Who said Philly was so great? I couldn't WAIT to leave! It's a great sports town in that the teams sucked for so long that you HAVE to learn about the other teams in order to appreciate a sport. You don't hear me poo-pooing the Phillies or Eagles do you? Pat's and Yuengling is all I miss. Breyers and Tastycake are national brands now and I can make my own steaks well enough and Labatt Blue is a tolerable substitute (they DO have a Yuengling factory in Tampa!)

New England sucks economically for sure, historically it has as many if not more points of interest than most anyplace else in the US. I miss fresh seafood. I miss pizza. I miss a good "grinder." I miss jumping in the car and driving ninety minutes or less and having more than one option for seeing a pro sports event.

I don't miss the weather. I don't miss the traffic, (yes, its way worse than Phoenix). I don't miss the racial imbalances.

I left because it was the best for my family and our future.

high profile feud #4 - Simmons v Stiles

Simmons started it!!! If he didn't suck so much I would have never thought "Geez, I can do better than this guy!" and then dissing Hunter S Thompson when he was supposed to collaborate with him on Page 2. He sealed his fate with his half-assed Tampa picture parade/needless-creativeless bashing of my beloved Rays and their it's-REALLY-not-THAT-bad stadium.

Oh and the first time I heard him speak I knew he was a total dork.

I am jealous of him for one reason. He had a Dad that loved sports and gave him experiences in sport as a youth. My Dad wouldn't let me go to a workout for Milwaukee Brewers scouts when I was 17 because he thought they actual made beer.

New England (historically) is overrated...

Philly has more history in one square mile than ALL of Massachusetts - Declaration of independence, Liberty Bell, former capital of the US, First US mint, Ben Franklin's house, the Constitution was written there, the Original U.S. flag was made there.

Bunker Hill and North Church yourself to death. America became America when Washington took a bunch of regular Joes and made a Continental Army in Valley Forge (just a couple miles up the Schuylkill River from Philly)

Let alone Virginia, the original economic backbone of this country...

Phoenix is a freeking paradise when it's not May-September and traffic is a joke here compared to back East. There's good food here, but it's not the same passion as back east (because all there is to do back east is eat and drink your weather-induced depression away)

Manny, you complain about Boston sports fans only being concerned with New England and being "myopic" but you spend more time talking about New England sports than most users on this site, and you talk about them in hazy, generalizing, overarching, unsupportable terms. Who is really myopic here?

But she is easy on the eyes. And if she sucks, all the more better.

There are billions of things harder than writing a funny article. Here's a nice round 10:

1. growing an third arm with a foot for a hand out of your forehead
2. Getting Tim McCarver to shut the eph up ad/or say something we care to hear.
3. dig to China by going right through the center of the earth from anywhere in the U.S. (can't be done - you end up in the Indian Ocean)
4. winning a Marathon running on your hands.... backwards
5. Eat your body weight in cotton candy in an hour
6. Explaining to me why Dane Cook should have his own "Opinions" page on a sports wikisite
7. Convincing Derek Jeter he belongs in the outfield
8. Getting A-Rod to pretend he has a personality
9. destroy the sun by farting at it
10. Being a judge at a fellatio contest (Yes, it's harder than you think!)

Q. You know what would look really good on Jessica Alba? A. Scarlett Johannsen.

Would it would be funnier if I hit you in the groin with a rock or if I threw Dane Cook at your groin?