America: Should We Be Putting Expiration Dates on Our Wedding Rings?
| 6
|
by Jocktrotter
The following is taken from an advice column on www.phillyjock.com, written by a rich, condescending country club member. Anyone into golf at all or satire should defintely check out his column. Some jewels. '
Dear Chet: What is your opinion of prenuptial agreements? I really love my fiancée, Sally, but my lawyer thinks it’s a good idea, just to be safe. My heart says one thing, but my head says another, you know?
Winston, Malvern PA
'
Dear Winston:
As many of my readers already know, after my first marriage I won’t even look at a woman without her signing a pre-nuptial agreement. I learned the hard way. To the best of my knowledge my first wife is docked somewhere on the Gold Coast, drunk on Gordon’s gin, laughing her head off, and pleasuring herself with my grandmother’s antique candlesticks.
Another way of looking at is a man who leaves the house without a prenuptial agreement is like a man who leaves the house without pants on. I mean that literally.
However, in my opinion, pre-nuptial agreements don’t go far enough.
Here’s another idea from your buddy Chet:
I thought this one up after accidentally drinking some expired mineral water a while back. At the time I was engaged to my second wife, Patti, who'd just graduated from Mount Holyoke. I was 38; she was 23. Well, when I drank that water I began to choke and I thought I might be dying. At that moment, I had an epiphany about the transient nature of life and relationships. The next day, when I went in to have her ring engraved, instead of putting Truly Yours or Love Always I put Valid Until 3/24/97.
You can thank me later.
Want more Chet? Click here for his full archive.
