All Aboard The Bus Carrying All “The Dog Ate My Homework” Excuses for When Athletes Test Postitve!
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by user LastRow
What’s the noise I keep hearing? I don’t know if anybody else hears the same thing? It sounds kind of like a bus trying to backup…You know, the famous “Beep….Beep….Beep” noise an oversized vehicle makes when it’s thrown in reverse. Oh, I finally figured out where it was coming from…None other than Barry Bonds’ privately owned luxury bus. It seems as if somebody threw something, (or was it someone) under the bus and then when the lame ass bus driver, Jeff Borris who was at the wheel tried to see what it was, he mistakenly backed over it! However, nothing really to worry about…It was only fellow Giant first baseman/outfielder Mark Sweeney! No Biggie! Yeah, I know, we all should rat out our friends…What are they for anyway?! It’s really nice to see, for one of the select few that actually had your, you just felt the need to stab him in the back!
Every time we hear the name Barry Bonds, it has something to do with negativity…So why should this time be any different, right? Already under investigation for lying under oath about his steroid use, failed a test under Major League Baseball's amphetamine policy last season and then initially blamed it on a teammate…I mean why not? Every other excuse in the book was taken. Couldn’t use the “abnormal testosterone” line…We’ve heard the “somebody sabotaged my beer” explanation…“The supplements I put in my body were contaminated” line was already done…The “B12 Vitamin Shot”, well Rafael Palmerio took the last tainted one of those…And on, and on! So really, if we actually think about it, what was Barry to do? Here’s a thought…How about step to the plate and be a man about it…Oh silly me, I asking for a guy to do this when every time he steps to the plate he’s dressed in all his body armor!
So once again the heat comes down on Barry. He has no problems pointing the finger at somebody else and singing like a little choir school bitch! Isn’t it funny seeing as how Bonds personal trainer Greg Anderson turns into a mime on the witness stand in front of the grand jury, not giving up any names in the BALCO investigation…Seeming going to bat for Bonds to protect him. So nice to see if the shoe was on the other foot, Barry would be quick to sell Greg out to save his own ass! Surprised? No…Not hardly! There’s only one thing in this world that matters to Barry Bonds…And that’s, Barry Bonds! Always has…Ever since his early years in Pittsburgh. Never “knowingly” (key word there) doing anything wrong that is until last season as he failed a test under Major League Baseball's amphetamine policy. I guess Sweeney drank his last Red Bull that he had stashed away in his locker. Sugar Free I might add…So Barry just had to settle for so “over the counter pills”...Labeled “Eat Me!” Isn’t that how it went down Double B? (continued @ http://www.lastrowsports.com/weekly-boob.asp)
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