A phone call between Barry Bonds and Hank Aaron

Apparently, Hank Aaron is considering meeting with the over-sized, small-balled home run leader, whom we all thought he hated. > > "Eventually, if I happen to see him somewhere, I'd probably say something to him," Aaron was quoted as saying on the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Web site Thursday night. "To be honest, I'm as happy for him as anybody."

Well, in the unlikely event the two ever get the opportunity to speak to one another, there's a good chance nobody would get to see, or hear, what was actually said. And that's what thePigPen is for. Let's take a look at what might be said, if the two were two exchanged phone call [1] s. [2]

Hank: Shutup devil woman, I'm calling that bitch Barry Bonds. Give me five friggin' minutes.

(ring) (ring) (ring)

Barry: Hello Hank: Hey sweetheart, is your father home? Barry: What's that? Hank: Aisha, is it? Could you go get your daddy for me? Barry: Excuse me? Hank: Wait a second, Barry? Barry: Uhh...speaking. Hank: Hey, it's Hank Aaron, you know the guy you screwed over Barry: I know who you are. Hank: I just wanted to call and congratulate you on becoming the new all-time home run leader in all of baseball. Barry: Well, thank y..... Hank: And of course screwing me over. It takes a lot of hard work, a lot of dedication and mental perseverance to accomplish what you have accomplished. But you chose to bypass all of that, and just stick to.....well you know. How is your nut-sack by the way? Small? Smaller? Or has it just completely disappeared? Barry: Who told you about my nut sack? Was it Sun? That bitch. I knew she wouldn't keep her mouth shut. Hank: Calm down, Barry. You secret safe with me. Why don't we talk about something else. Barry: Why don't we? Hank: Alright. Why are you such a dick all the time? Barry: I'm not a dick. Hank: Uh, Barry, I hate to break it to you, but you're a dick. All the time. Barry: I'm beginning to dislike your attitude, Hank. It's upsetting me. Hank: What, are you going to do, cry? Bitch. Eat me? Go ahead. You can't do shit. Barry: What made you start yelling? I don't even know you. What did I even do wrong? I came into the league in 1986 weighing only 185 pounds, I rubbed some cream on my ass, now I'm listed at 228 lbs but probably weigh closer to 250. I don't get why it's such a big deal that I managed to hit 756 career home runs in the process. So what? Shoot me. What do you want me to do? Give the record back? Hank: Why is it a big d...!? You freaking serious? Are you an idiot? Barry: No, shutup. Hank: (Jesus, this is going to be tougher than I thought) I'd like you to give the record back Barry. Barry: Um, that's a pretty selfish thing to ask, Hank. What the hells the matter with you? You are messed up in the head. Hank: Am I messed up in the head? Barry, let me lay something out for you real quick. You're a walking Hulk. You're head is the size of a small pond and your voice reminds me of my 11-year old daughter with less vigor. The majority of the country hates you and you're ex-lover is writing a book about you and your sex-life, or what was left of it. Barry: What are you trying to say? Hank: This is hopeless. Screw it, you like "Entourage"? Barry: What the hell does that have to do with anything? Hank: I don't like Vince Barry: Why? Do you think he did steroids without knowing it? (pats himself on the back and gives his son, whose still wearing his Giants uniform, a high five) Hank: No, that's not it at all. F you. Barry: F you! Hank: I knew this was a bad idea. Go blank a dumpster, Barry. Barry: Yea, kiss my ass too, Hank. You dick. You old dick.

(click)

Geez, that ended rough.

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