A Night to Forget
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by user LastRow
So how was your ESPY night last night…Or should I say Wednesday, only for us peons it was last night. I must say it was enjoyable to watch the “Red Carpet Special” over on ESPN2. Seeing all the glitz and glamour on Hollywood Blvd. before the chosen ones entered the Kodak Theatre on their to their cushy, front row seat. Even J-Mac had a better sit than me, and what has he done…Oh yeah, a lot more than Michelle Wie. J-Mac, hold on little buddy, you’re starting to make the movie “RUDY” loose some of its punch…And that’s God’s country there in South Bend.
Besides the “Red Carpet Special” checking out all of the “bling”, the only thing that was worth watching after that was the Lance Armstrong monologue. It’s just a damn shame we had to wait about 40 minutes after the “Red Carpet Special” was over to begin watching the monologue in the first place. See ESPN, this is normally how it works…The red carpet show normally precedes the award show, when I say precedes I mean usually “immediately” following. Not waiting about for 40 minutes watching the Mets finish up waxing the Cubs ass. What’s a matter, you guys didn’t figure on the 11 run inning that the Mets had? For being the “World Wide Leaders in Sports” you all are a bunch of dumb f&^&^. Don’t you know you can never count on the Cubs to do anything right…That’s just the way it works, it never turns out as one would’ve hoped. Us peons even know this…They’re not called the “Lovable Losers” for nothing Broadcasting a Cubs game right before your ESPY’s is like calling a retarded person for a double dribble…There’s just some shit you just can’t do!
So since the Cubs game ran late, did you guys ever think about beginning to air the proceedings on ESPN2…Hell no you didn’t. I don’t know why, it’s not like it would’ve been that difficult. Instead of popping the VHS tape in the VCR that says “ESPN”, why not just pop the tape in the one that says “ESPN2”. Oh that’s right, you’re the “World Wide Leaders in Sports”…You must have DVD’s by now, only my wonderful parents are still using a VCR. Next thing I’ll find out is they’re still using a dial-up connection as their Internet provider…Oh wait, they are.
So why not just switch networks to begin televising this damn thing? You have no problems of switching networks in the mid-afternoon when need be so we can see the gayest sports journalist in the world, one Jay Marotti. So we can see a “Reggae Dude” call a white man ugly, take his pants, and insult his dancing abilities on a different network, but not the ESPY’s? It’s not like there was something worth watching over on “the deuce” anyway…What, the Breeders Cup program that you guys were constantly plugging during the golf playoff between Natalie Gulbis & one Me-You-&-Kim. Damn you Me-You, why couldn’t you let Goldilocks win? Your damn right I watched this, I’m not afraid to admit it…In fact I watched the last two hours of this shit. Two straight, full hours of Natalie is a lot more satisfying than those cameo golf tips she lays on in FHM Magazine.
So an ESPY stands for Excellence in Sports Performance Year…That’s funny, the theme for the entire night was this and not only do we get to watch a tape delayed version of it, we got a tape delayed version being delayed, since you f^^$#& didn’t want to pull the plug on some bull shit programming. Thanks ESPN…And later this week I’ll have a special of my own to give you waste of sperms called “LastRowSports.com Weekly Boob”. Be sure to check it out…It won’t be on delay. You make book on that Missy! Before I go, since you guys are into making wishes come true, just to let you know “My Wish” is to see a broadcast of the ESPY be on a five second delay rather than a four day one. This “wish” shouldn’t be to tough to grant…Should it? PLEASE MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE!
For more of these opinions please feel free to visit LastRowSports.com & stick your "TWO CENTS" in!
Date
Mon 07/17/06, 6:22 pm EST
