A List of Chicago’s Free Agent Quarterback Options
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by LastRow
Good God…What a difference a week makes! This time last week while everybody was playing the position we all love to play, (myself included) Monday Quarterback, we seemed to be all on the same page after watching Wrecks Grossman castrate himself once again! Saying Lovie Smith had no other choice but to bench the quarterback midget! After all, the Bears "were 1-2 with Wrecks as their quarterback!" Seemingly everybody was drinking the same Kool-Aid by agreeing that his career was finished in Chicago and for that matter possibly the NFL. Well, well…What a difference a week makes!
The precise Lovie Smith chose to go with Brian Greise was to give the offense some sense of stability…To try and establish some continuity! Why, if he wanted a Wrecks Grossman performance Brian, or I mean Mr. Five Turnovers Guy, um, yeah, DON’T YOU THINK HE WOULD’VE STUCK WITH HIM? All last week we heard from the "experts" that BG doesn’t make the big mistake. They were right, he makes five of them! Not only that, miscounting the pick six that he threw, the other four turnovers were all down in the red zone! Now that’s something Wrecks would do, but not a savvy vet like this!
And what’s with throwing the ball 50-plus times? When did the Bears adopt the Run & Shoot? Oh, when they found out they traded the wrong running back to the Jets! OOPS! Can we have a do over on that trade? I’m guessing they thought they could exploit what the Philadelphia Eagles did to the Lions last week. One thing’s for sure, the quarterback play, no matter who’s taking the snaps, isn’t as bad as those Eagles throwbacks! And if you’re waiting to sign Donovan McNabb next season so he can return to Chicago, um, you may want to think again…This season he has been like a colored version of Wrecks! So you may want to re-evaluate that!
Fact is, Griese took over at the helm to act as a Band-Aid…To try to cover up the wound Wrecks had kept opening and opening. The only thing BG managed to do wasn’t to manage the game as we all heard he would do…No, no, instead of covering up the wound, he just poured more salt into it! It’s kind of ironic…Last week I sat on my perch in the LastRow wondering, "let’s say this Brian Griese experiment doesn’t in fact work out. Which, I don’t know if that’s even possible given the horrible play of Wrecksy…The question then is, "Who’s the backup in Chicago?" Is it Kyle Orton or Wrecks?" And to think I was playing Devil’s Advocate last week in My ScuttleButt. Truth of the matter is that question certainly may not be out of the realm of possibilities worth mentioning!
Although the Bears have nobody to blame but themselves for this situation! Everybody knew last year Grossman wasn’t the answer! Did they do something in the off-season to help the situation? Did they? Will they this coming off season? Hopefully so! To waste a defense like this would be a felony! Now all the Bears issues don’t begin and end with the quarterback…That’s only the start! Although it goes to show you actually how quickly you can go from beginning a legitimate Super Bowl contender to that of a pretender…(Reference San Diego) Now as a die-hard Bears fan, I’ve compiled a list of prospective free agent quarterback candidates that I feel as though they would make good successors to Wrecks. I’ve given you 50-plus names to look over, (yes, I did say 50-plus names) and just maybe, just maybe you’ll find one that stands out. All the names below come with extraordinary character…I’ll be honest, of the candidates below you won’t find any great character(s), (no pun intended) in individuals! Why, it’s second to none!
1. Bugs Bunny 2. Homer Simpson 3. Rocky or Bullwinkle 4. Beavis or Butt-head 5. The Grinch 6. Fred or Barney, (I go with Barney…He has a son Bam-Bam) 7. Angelica Pickles 8. Charlie Brown, (just make sure Lucy doesn’t come around) 9. SpongeBob 10. Cartman (The real life Jared Lorenzen) 11. Bart Simpson 12. Fat Albert (the darker version of J-Load) 13. Garfield 14. Daffy Duck 15. Pikachu 16. Gumby 17. Betty Boop 18. Top Cat 19. Mickey Mouse 20. Popeye 21. Gerald McBoing-Boing 22. Scooby-Doo 23. Underdog 24. Josie of the Pussycats 25. Heckle or Jeckle 26. Arthur 27. Winnie the Pooh 28. Felix the Cat 29. Mr. Magoo 30. George of the Jungle 31. Ren and Stimpy 31. Tom Terrific 32. Tweety or Sylvester 33. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle(s) (Any of them…Splinter can be the new GM) 34. Space Ghost 35. Yogi Bear or Boo Boo 36. Mighty Mouse 37. Wiley E. Coyote or Road Runner 38. Superman 39. Batman 40. Daria 41. Wonder Woman 42. Donald Duck (Probably not the best option…We’ve already seen what Huey, Duey, & Louie can do) 43. Alvin 44. Tasmanian Devil 45. Woody Woodpecker 46. Porky Pig 47. Bobby Hill 48. Speed Racer 49. Tom or Jerry
