A Glorious Event…Or What’s Known as the NFL Combine
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by user LastRow
It was a weekend filled with pinching, poking, and probing…Aw yes, the three greatest "P" words ever. Something I always look forward to annually in late February…It tends to help my "Lack of Pigskin Depression" subside a little. Besides it also tends to help out the citizens who call Indianapolis home…Now that, that right in itself is something to be depressed about! The thing is, what makes us snap out of these types of depressions? Sad to say none other than half naked men in spandex shorts with numbers posted on them as if they were entering a gay beauty pageant. Beauty pageant yes…Better known as the NFL Combine. A gay one, well, John Amaechi might be better fit to answer that…I know that was a low blow! Isn’t that right Tim Hardaway?
What was once simply a camp that began in 1982 when National Football Scouting, Inc. first conducted a camp for its member NFL clubs in Tampa, Florida, has now turned into one of the ridiculous, over glorified events ever. Although the same can be said about NASCAR, so whatever that means? Although, what does it mean when that old bag Al Davis with his stopwatch in the stands at the RCA Dome trying to time potential draftees 3-cone times?
What does it mean when peeps are breaking down how fluid Leon Hall's hips are…Or how some crews may be gushing over how sculpted Adrian Peterson and Golden Boy Brady Quinn look without their shirts on. The Chippendales don’t have anything on these two guys! However, why are we supposedly wanting to see this? If it wasn’t bad enough already that these guys are going to be shitting Bens out of their ass, now we must see their entire physique getting poked and probed by everybody and their mother.
Is it just me, but somehow I fail to see what this four day event proves. Who cares how fast a guy can run in spandex without a helmet on and pads…Can he jump over hurdles too? If he can, he needs to be drafted number one then! Can he do all this and still chew gum? If so, he needs to get at least a 6-million dollar signing bonus! What’s with the forty times anyway? Will this somehow tell us the ability one has of catching the football as a receiver or a back when a heat-seeking missile is bearing down on them? Hey, this just in…Football players are strong SOB’s! So then what the hell is it suppose to prove when we all know some guys can bench 225 more than others…Thanks for that news flash! Why does it matter how fast an offensive lineman runs? Is it not their job to protect the quarterback from getting his head torn off and clear holes for running backs? As long as those two things get done, well, you’re okay in my book big guy! Last time I check, they aren’t receiving handoffs or catching 10 to 15 yard outs! However, I should make it known that I’ve never lifted 225 or ran a forty time…Can’t jump over hurdles, but yes indeed, I can chew gum and push myself in my wheelchair. So I wonder what kind of bonus that calls for?
So this NFL Combine is supposed to be a make or break event, huh? Well, at least that’s what the media wants us to believe. Every tenth of a second matters when one’s running in a straight line. Every 225 bench press rep matters when one is lying down on a bench. The 3-cone drill matters, right? Every correct question one gets what on the Wonderlic Test matters oh so much…Yeah, Vince Young proved that to hold any kind of worth while meaning! You know other people that have proven this to matter too, um, Jeff George and Tony Mandarich! See, what they have proven is that this entire NFL Combine thingy is a farce and artificial, just like their sorry ass careers! Some look for a sure thing when these four days are over…Here’s a hint, there’s only one and actually everybody knew this back in September that Calvin Johnson was the real deal. Not be the fastest…And no, it’s not because he had a sick vertical jump this week…Simply put, he’s a freak of nature! I just hope he received a good Wonderlic score?
Really, what’s the purpose of this pinching, poking, and probing event anyway? All the combine does is allow more questions to be raised than answers to be given. Is JaMarcus Russell a better quarterback than Brady Quinn? Well define better? Better arm strength? Yes. Better mobility? Yes. Better leader? No. Better upside? Potentially, perhaps? Better understanding of a NFL system? No. Ted Ginn Jr .& Calvin Johnson…Ginn’s faster, so….A rabbit is faster than a turtle too! What does that prove? As much as the BCS saying Florida’s the best football team in the country! Or how I like to refer to it…JACK! Is it me, but am I the only one who finds the event sick and demented? I find the following statement about the glorious event down right amusing:
"This February, over three hundred of the very best college football players will be invited to participate in the NFL Scouting Combine (National Invitational Camp) in Indianapolis, Indiana. Top Executives, Coaching Staffs, Player Personnel Departments and Medical Personnel from all 32 NFL teams will be on hand to evaluate the nation's top college football players eligible for the upcoming NFL Draft. This intense, four-day job interview is an exciting time for the athletes and a vital step in achieving their dreams of playing in the NFL." – NFLCombine.net Home Page.
Isn’t that Jim dandy! Perhaps some of these Top Executives, Coaching Staffs, Player Personnel Departments and Medical Personnel from all 32 NFL teams can explain in some how this all relates to the important aspects of football? I would really love to hear that explanation! Intense huh…Four days of seeing guys run in spandex shorts and shirts that make them look like contestants from the early rounds of American Idol. Yes indeed, now that…That’s intense, yes indeed! Will Simon be on hand to pinch, poke, and probe in evaluating the nation's top college football players? After all, the combine is really just a sports glorified episode of American Idol! Has life actually become this pathetic? Or am I just a NFL Combine Reject? Simon, please tell me!
