A Day Late and A Dollar Short on Ben Roethlisberger vs. Granny in a Chrysler
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by user LastRow
Let’s think back to one year ago…Now that requires some taxing on the brain! And it’s worth noting at some point one might go into operation overload shutdown…Or as some refer to it as a brain freeze courtesy of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream. Hey, speaking of Ben, what’d you know…I guess we should all be sending out happy anniversary wishes to one Ben Roethlisberger. It was exactly one year yesterday since Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle accident…Man, time really flies when you've banged your head against pavement at 50 miles per hour after bouncing off of a Chrysler 300…Or was it a Sebring? Convertible?
How unthoughtful of me to be late in wishing Big Ben a happy anniversary, my parents raised me better than that! I so very sorry mom & dad! Although Ben probably did too…As he’s not playing with a full deck! Allow me to help you out Ben…Jokers are Wild! For Steelers fans it's a day they will always remember, with good reason. It’s not often your franchise, super bowl winning quarterback can go from as such to one Humpty Dumpty who fell off the bike. In the Steal City this day can be mentioned in the same breath when George Washington chopped down the damn cherry tree without telling a lie…When the nation learned that Lance Bass had come out of the cupboard on the cover of a national magazine. For me personally, I rank this right along side when I found out "The Most Accurate Football Kicker Ever" had been discontinued after I seriously found his head in the palm of my head after making an impossible field goal over a Lay-Z-Boy and the dining room table…Rest in Peace "SuperJock"! You went out with a bang! And Ben, well, you almost followed suit.
Um, just perhaps a helmet might’ve come in handy riding your little crotch rocket humpty? Just like the one that’s part of the uniform requirement for your profession. Didn’t your melon feel naked without one? Hey Steelers fans, I got know sympathy for you…Sure Big Ben has scrambled eggs in his head now, but I’m a Chicago fan. We have our own problems of epic proportion too…We’re working feverishly to find a cure for a disease that has overtaken our city…Perhaps "The Burgh" has heard of it? It’s called GROSSMAN!
Now some might see this as tragic….No, Rex Grossman’s quarterback play defines that! This was simply idiotic and could’ve been avoided! One of my favorite aspect of the crash, (if that’s the correct wording to use) remains Steelers fans, of course, some had brought with them portable grills to tailgate outside. Sadly, this was absolutely true; Roethlisberger's seven-hour surgery provided yet another opportunity for Steelers' fans to show they’re die-hards by do a little grilling...What better place to pitch a tent and have a wiener & sausages be flaming up than the ole hospital parking lot? Only in Pittsburgh are the Weber’s coming out of ambulances along with lighter fluid & Kingsford briquettes!
Still, the million dollar question that’s asked by not only those in Pittsburghland, but many nationwide, (including yours truly) who wonder if he will ever be the same. My theory is no, but then again what do I know? It’s hard to see all the way up here in the LastRow! Oh yes, I know one thing…It’s a good idea when riding a crotch rocket to wear a helmet! I wonder if Toothlessberger would care to call an audible on that one?
Happy Anniversary Humpty "Toothless" Dumpty!
