9 Reasons to Be Excited for Baseball Opening Day
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by user Wildcatmatt
Because eight reasons would be too sparse, and ten would be too excessive and well-rounded...
1) Carl Pavano is the Yankees' opening day starter. That's right folks, a $200 million payroll and their opening day starter has a career record of 61-64 with an ERA of 4.27 and hasn't pitched since June of 2005. Everybody point and laugh while you have the chance.
2) The arms of the Detroit Tigers pitchers might just collectively fall off. We've seen this trend the past few years without fail. Curt Schilling and Keith Foulke have never been the same since the '04 playoffs. The White Sox pitching staff as a whole last year looked about as energetic as John Kruk after a twelve-pack and three extra value menus. Kenny Rogers has already been shut down for half the year. Look for Tigers' young arms to struggle as well. Also keep an eye on the Cardinals' former "ace" Jeff Weaver being an utter failure in Seattle.
3) If you have Direct TV you can watch every game. If you don't, then Bud Selig says to go fuck yourself.
4) Chicago Cubs and Philadelphia Phillies fans have reason to hope their teams will reach the playoffs this year. And there's nothing funnier than watching Cubs and Philly fans being put on suicide watch by mid-June when their team inevitably fails.
5) Johan Santana is the balls. He's pitching better than anyone since Pedro circa '99. And his window of legendary opportunity is closing shut.
6) The trading deadline will fill us all with false hope for a blockbuster. And then shatter our anticipation once again, when we remember there's nothing in the sports world more overhyped in the internet age than the trading deadline (except arguably, drafts). Just so you know: Andruw Jones, Ichiro, Alex Rodriguez and Carlos Zambrano will be amongst the names ballied about as trade bait this year.
7) The AL Central and NL Central are wide open. The AL Central because so many teams have so much talent (Santana, Morneau, Mauer, Sabathia, Hafner, Sizemore, Zumaya, Sheffield, Konerko, Dye) and NL Central because so many teams completely lack talent.
8) MLB and Bud Selig have to face the Barry Bonds issue. No matter what your opinion of Barry Bonds (hatred level, utter hatred level, homicidal hatred level, member-of-the-media level), he's going to break Hank Aaron's record this year, and it's going to be hilarious. It's going to be hilarious because Bud Selig and the other MLB brass will have to acknowledge it while at the same time trying to keep their distance from it.
9) Because. No Olympics this summer. No World Cup either. What the fuck else are you going to do in between the NBA Finals and the NFL preseason?
